Depression

[shen]

11 minutes ago, Lionator said:

So I thought I'd give a little update now that I'm nearly 4 weeks into my Citalopram adventures. As posted on here, the first week was hellish, the side effects really hit me and I felt very fluey and quite honestly depressed. After day 7 those side effects suddenly seemed to subside. After that I'd still be very anxious especially in the mornings but could function. Now through week 3 and 4 things have started to change, I simply have stopped being anxious, the thoughts are there but they float away into the distance within seconds. I feel normal and feeling normal feels great, not euphoric, just what I thought being normal would feel like and it really has woken me up to just how much I've had to deal with in terms of anxiety effecting my day to day life. I'm just hoping that it continues. If like me you're a skeptic with anti-d's then my advice would be to give them a go as in a very short space of time they've completely transformed my mindset even at the minimum dose (I understand they don't work for all). 

Good to hear! Did anything else in your life change simultaneously to you taking these? And how long are you supposed to take anti-depressants?

[Lionator]

13 minutes ago, shen said:

Good to hear! Did anything else in your life change simultaneously to you taking these? And how long are you supposed to take anti-depressants?

Nothing in particular, in fact I'd normally decline at this time of year due to seasonal affective disorder and dark nights but I seem to be going in the opposite direction this year. For Citalopram it's recommended anywhere from 6 to 9 months.

[Collymore]

Thought this was an interesting read and possibly some of us could relate to. 

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-41726067

[Wymsey]

Feel genuinely fine during the day; but at around 19:00 (probably due to earlier darkness now, that was discussed here not long ago) until wake up, I get this uncertain feeling and over-thinking about life etc all of a sudden..

Does anyone else experience this?

[ozleicester]

4 hours ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Feel genuinely fine during the day; but at around 19:00 (probably due to earlier darkness now, that was discussed here not long ago) until wake up, I get this uncertain feeling and over-thinking about life etc all of a sudden..

Does anyone else experience this?

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) as mentioned is a thing, it affects millions and if you feel it is remotely possible that you experiencing, have a chat with your GP, if they dont offer ideas and actions to deal, try another GP. 

Edited 17 November 2017 by ozleicester

[Finnegan]

Sliding. 

[Crinklyfox]

1 hour ago, Finnegan said:

Sliding. 

Any specific reason or just a load of bad things that won't go away?  We all have bad times, I know that's not a lot of use when you're in one but ten problems are difficult to fix whereas one may be attainable.  And making one a bit better can lift the spirits.

[shen]

5 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Sliding. 

Ah bugger. Brace yourself and check in when you can.

[somebum]

On 17/11/2017 at 00:14, Wymeswold fox said:

Feel genuinely fine during the day; but at around 19:00 (probably due to earlier darkness now, that was discussed here not long ago) until wake up, I get this uncertain feeling and over-thinking about life etc all of a sudden..

Does anyone else experience this?

I do also. Its a strange uneasy feeling. Heard it said that this is part of the primal brain with its links to anxiety.. we hated the sun falling millions of years ago as bad shit happens. Personally i just hate it because the misses comes home from work

[Finnegan]

I'm safe. I realise I shouldn't post cryptic posts like that. 

 

I'm safe, I'm not a risk to myself in the slightest. I'm just feeling a bit blue today. 

[Strokes]

5 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Sliding. 

You've been reading the politics thread then I take it?

[ajthefox]

I think I've hit rock bottom today.

 

I was sat on the end of my bed reading a card a friend had written and started crying. I half composed myself before calling the GP and mumbling out enough information for the receptionist to arrange for a Doctor to call me back. I started to go again before I could manage to get a goodbye out but have since had the GP call me back and have arranged for an appointment on Friday afternoon.

 

I'm almost certain I am not dealing with depression; I'm just an anxiety ridden pessimist who is in a bad place and needs some help.

I don't know if that sounds like denial or not but I know there is a way out.

 

[sylofox]

1 hour ago, ajthefox said:

I think I've hit rock bottom today.

 

I was sat on the end of my bed reading a card a friend had written and started crying. I half composed myself before calling the GP and mumbling out enough information for the receptionist to arrange for a Doctor to call me back. I started to go again before I could manage to get a goodbye out but have since had the GP call me back and have arranged for an appointment on Friday afternoon.

 

I'm almost certain I am not dealing with depression; I'm just an anxiety ridden pessimist who is in a bad place and needs some help.

I don't know if that sounds like denial or not but I know there is a way out.

 

Sounds like most of my days atm. That and some of the not so nice things I remember about my past.

 

Oh does anyone know how to analyse dreams. I keep having the same one and wake up in a cold sweat.

[somebum]

1 hour ago, ajthefox said:

I think I've hit rock bottom today.

 

I was sat on the end of my bed reading a card a friend had written and started crying. I half composed myself before calling the GP and mumbling out enough information for the receptionist to arrange for a Doctor to call me back. I started to go again before I could manage to get a goodbye out but have since had the GP call me back and have arranged for an appointment on Friday afternoon.

 

I'm almost certain I am not dealing with depression; I'm just an anxiety ridden pessimist who is in a bad place and needs some help.

I don't know if that sounds like denial or not but I know there is a way out.

 

Brother this is a big thing to admit to a forum of strangers but i suffered from depression for many years, specifically throughout my twenties. It doesnt have any hold of me at all these days not in the way it did anyway. I can tell you if you can grasp the one fundamental issue surrounding depression... and truly grasp it... you can shatter its hold on you.

 

You may have already heard this advise but embrace the depression do not fight it. Embrace it as part of who you are. Dont search for it in the mornings or see if its still there late at night. Dont fight the cynicism but adapt with it. 

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, ajthefox said:

I think I've hit rock bottom today.

 

I was sat on the end of my bed reading a card a friend had written and started crying. I half composed myself before calling the GP and mumbling out enough information for the receptionist to arrange for a Doctor to call me back. I started to go again before I could manage to get a goodbye out but have since had the GP call me back and have arranged for an appointment on Friday afternoon.

 

I'm almost certain I am not dealing with depression; I'm just an anxiety ridden pessimist who is in a bad place and needs some help.

I don't know if that sounds like denial or not but I know there is a way out.

 

Sorry to hear you're struggling AJ. If you read back through this thread you'll see a few examples of where people have just started crying. Personally, I think that's a good thing and it's our bodies way of naturally dealing with our emotions in the moment. @somebum is right that we should embrace it and not fight it - our emotions happen for a reason...

 

I'm not sure if you're in denial but your GP will help here. He/she may refer you on to someone who might do a simple test through a series of questions to establish your current condition. The good news is that you know there is a way out and you need some help. Big respect to you for acknowledging this mate...

 

And remember that we're all born pessimists so you're not on your own here - optimism is a learned skill apparently. I'm guessing your anxiety comes from that "What if?..." type thinking which can spiral into catastrophising about something that will probably never happen. Just notice that thinking for what it is - just a thought and realise that you don't need to be believe it to be true. Our thoughts are not our reality but sometimes they appear so real to us. Good luck AJ and let us know how you get on 

 

1 hour ago, sylofox said:

Sounds like most of my days atm. That and some of the not so nice things I remember about my past.

 

Oh does anyone know how to analyse dreams. I keep having the same one and wake up in a cold sweat.

I've tried in the past to read up about dreams and understand them more mate but I become a bit skeptical about the research and findings sometimes. One thing I've read a few times is that recurring (negative) dreams are quite common in adults and are supposed to signify unresolved conflicts or stressors in our lives.

 

So maybe there's some unresolved issues that you haven't properly dealt with? They may be from the past as you've mentioned? If so, I guess they need addressing through therapy or talking them out with someone. When I had my therapy and faced into some of my demons from the past I noticed that I slept a lot better afterwards. I guess the sub-conscious holds on to stuff until it's dealt with once and for all and then it can be 'filed away' for good... 

[urban.spaceman]

Major ups and downs at the minute. Much better this week but last week was really rough. Was asked on Sunday by my cousin's boyfriend to be godfather to their daughter who was born 12 weeks premature (baby is tiny and in an incubator but is otherwise very healthy and just perfect). That put me on a bit of a high the last couple of days. Also my sister's boyfriend wants my help in manoeuvring circumstances to help him ask my dad for his blessing to ask her to marry him. Exciting times ahead, hopefully I can take more positives from them to improve my brain.

 

Just about managed to finally push myself into finishing a cover letter template to apply for jobs in my chosen field. Been a long hard slog with my mental health so often proving an impossible barrier to helping myself but I feel almost ready to start properly applying. Though not looking forward to the inevitable slump when I either get rejections or don't even hear anything at all, as usual. 

[Crinklyfox]

4 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Major ups and downs at the minute. Much better this week but last week was really rough. Was asked on Sunday by my cousin's boyfriend to be godfather to their daughter who was born 12 weeks premature (baby is tiny and in an incubator but is otherwise very healthy and just perfect). That put me on a bit of a high the last couple of days. Also my sister's boyfriend wants my help in manoeuvring circumstances to help him ask my dad for his blessing to ask her to marry him. Exciting times ahead, hopefully I can take more positives from them to improve my brain.

 

Just about managed to finally push myself into finishing a cover letter template to apply for jobs in my chosen field. Been a long hard slog with my mental health so often proving an impossible barrier to helping myself but I feel almost ready to start properly applying. Though not looking forward to the inevitable slump when I either get rejections or don't even hear anything at all, as usual. 

Looks like you're managing your emotions with some realism which is a good sign.

 

Applying for jobs can be a stressful time, none of us like what we perceive as rejection.  The hard facts are that many people will apply for a position and only one will get it so it's a process that has to me managed.  Unfortunately there are some potential employers that don't even bother with the courtesy of issuing letters to unsuccessful applicants, which makes the process even harder - but would you really want to work for a company like that?

 

I've held management positions in my career and hired staff - I always sent out a letter to unsuccessful interviewed external candidates, and held face to face meetings with unsuccessful internal candidates to explain why they did not get the position they applied for.  For those persons not invited for interview HR sent out letters.  It's only a small proportion of the total time spent in the process of identifying new staff and can be easily done provided the will is there.

 

My eldest son has communication issues which make some interviews difficult.  I've seen him turned away from an interview before it's really begun, which was hard to take.  Nevertheless he persisted with applications, and eventually got a position which he held for the next twelve years.  All he needed was one break, and that's what most of us need.  Somewhere out there is your ideal job and if you can just manage the numbers of applications that fall on stony ground you can get there.  Good luck.

[urban.spaceman]

On a bit of a high at the minute after last night's match and seeing Ricky Gervais (hilarious). Going to try and send applications by the end of the week 

[Wymsey]

9 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

On a bit of a high at the minute after last night's match and seeing Ricky Gervais (hilarious). Going to try and send applications by the end of the week 

What's stopping you exactly?

There's no real need to not give it a go. If you feel you're concerned about whether you could struggle with mental health at work, you could always explain to them the problem you may have and ask for any adjustments at?

Getting back to work can be scary for obvious reasons, but the barrier needs to be broken for a more productive life.

 

If you fear telling them, if you feel that's the best way to approach it, and they reject you because of you doing the right thing in being open to admit it - it would be their problem and not yours tbh.

Employers should be open to listening to mental health, and they really shouldn't not close doors for people who've had difficult times in their life and a chance to be 'normal' again.

Edited 30 November 2017 by Wymeswold fox

[urban.spaceman]

On 30/11/2017 at 11:57, Wymeswold fox said:

What's stopping you exactly?

There's no real need to not give it a go. If you feel you're concerned about whether you could struggle with mental health at work, you could always explain to them the problem you may have and ask for any adjustments at?

Getting back to work can be scary for obvious reasons, but the barrier needs to be broken for a more productive life.

 

If you fear telling them, if you feel that's the best way to approach it, and they reject you because of you doing the right thing in being open to admit it - it would be their problem and not yours tbh.

Employers should be open to listening to mental health, and they really shouldn't not close doors for people who've had difficult times in their life and a chance to be 'normal' again.

It's mainly my lack of confidence and the anxiety of rejection that holds me back. If I'm not in a great place then my competence is low and quality of application suffers. Right now I'm ok, and I'm ready to get to it and put all my efforts into making a good application after quite a good week - City won twice, I saw Ricky Gervais and John Otway, I was asked to be a Godfather to my cousin's 12 week preemie girl (who is doing very well), and tomorrow I'm helping my sister's boyfriend ask my dad for his blessing and then help him propose. I'm feeling very productive at the minute ?

[ozleicester]

1 hour ago, urban.spaceman said:

It's mainly my lack of confidence and the anxiety of rejection that holds me back. If I'm not in a great place then my competence is low and quality of application suffers. Right now I'm ok, and I'm ready to get to it and put all my efforts into making a good application after quite a good week - City won twice, I saw Ricky Gervais and John Otway, I was asked to be a Godfather to my cousin's 12 week preemie girl (who is doing very well), and tomorrow I'm helping my sister's boyfriend ask my dad for his blessing and then help him propose. I'm feeling very productive at the minute ?

We saw Ricky back in 2010... one fo the best ive ever seen...and all the rest is such good news

 

Without wishing to be too light about things.... This....

                                                                     - OzLeicester

Edited 4 December 2017 by ozleicester

[Benguin]

Little update. 

 

On paper I'm not doing good at all. I've quit uni, owe a bit of money, living with parents and working a minimum wage job. 

 

In reality however I am feeling so much better. The biggest thing for me right now is accepting that my degree was wrong for me and telling people about my many addictions and problems. I'm codeine and gambling free for 6 weeks now. I got a crappy job within a week of moving back to Leicester and I've stopped thinking how I used to where I'd worry all the time about getting a good job, house, wife and kids etc. Right now I'm just focusing on one thing at a time and its so cathartic. My only goal now is to save enough to pay a deposit to rent a little place. Once that's achieved I'll set a new goal. Genuinely very happy and positive at the moment and all it took was talking to people.

[Lionator]

1 hour ago, Benguin said:

Little update. 

 

On paper I'm not doing good at all. I've quit uni, owe a bit of money, living with parents and working a minimum wage job. 

 

In reality however I am feeling so much better. The biggest thing for me right now is accepting that my degree was wrong for me and telling people about my many addictions and problems. I'm codeine and gambling free for 6 weeks now. I got a crappy job within a week of moving back to Leicester and I've stopped thinking how I used to where I'd worry all the time about getting a good job, house, wife and kids etc. Right now I'm just focusing on one thing at a time and its so cathartic. My only goal now is to save enough to pay a deposit to rent a little place. Once that's achieved I'll set a new goal. Genuinely very happy and positive at the moment and all it took was talking to people.

Well done! You've made the right decisions if that's how you're feeling, on paper I think you're doing rather well if your health and wellbeing are on the up. I went to uni originally and it was wrong, I dropped out, worked for a year and went back the year after and it was much better. Small goals are often the first steps to recovery so it's so healthy that you're conciously aware of this and can put things into perspective like this! Please never stop talking whether that be to your parents, mates, workmates or strangers on the internet like us!

[srbfox]

Today I was told two interesting things, which I don't want to repeat but let's say both we're a personal attack.  I was also threaten with violence!

 

Some of this was by people close to me, others from people I don't care about. 

 

It beggars belief how some people go about behaving and not have a clue how it can effect anyone. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. Something has got to give.

 

 

[VLC86]

13 minutes ago, srbfox said:

Today I was told two interesting things, which I don't want to repeat but let's say both we're a personal attack.  I was also threaten with violence!

 

Some of this was by people close to me, others from people I don't care about. 

 

It beggars belief how some people go about behaving and not have a clue how it can effect anyone. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. Something has got to give.

 

 

For the people you don’t care about let it wash over you and don’t let them get you down, for the person/people you do it’s worth letting the dust settle and then having a quiet word to let them know how it made you feel.

 

I wouldn’t say I’m depressed but I’m in a work situation that is getting me down. I’ve been doing the same thing for a number of years and I’m at the stage now where I need to do something different but I can’t get a look in at all for the jobs I am interested in.

 

Its like a constant circle of being fed up, looking at new opportunities, they don’t materialise and then I get fed up.