Depression

[MarkDeVirus]

I wrote a piece for World Mental Health Day. Would love it if you all gave it a read.

 

https://dispatchesfromdante.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

[Nick]

5 minutes ago, MarkDeVirus said:

I wrote a piece for World Mental Health Day. Would love it if you all gave it a read.

 

https://dispatchesfromdante.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

That's a great start to the blog - fair play.

[MarkDeVirus]

2 minutes ago, Swan Lesta said:

That's a great start to the blog - fair play.

Cheers mate.

[foxy boxing]

happy world Mental health Day everyone - everyone on here who suffers from depression or mental health like myself can always find support and helpful advice on here or get information on where to go and who to see. no one should suffer in silence for fear of abuse or ridicule or embarressment. i myself go to a group where i can socialize and talk with other people and make friends! it's about ending the stigma surrounding mental health that it doesn't make you any less of a person and in fact seeking help takes a lot of courage and there are support networks out there for people who are suffering.

[Carl the Llama]

1 hour ago, Swan Lesta said:

Happy World Mental Health Day 2017 Team.

 

This thread is testament to a changing world and changing attitudes and perceptions to mental health and supporting each other.

 

This thread epitomises what WMHD is about - fair play to all contributing FT'ers.

Absolutely, a football forum is one of the last places you'd expect to find frank, respectful discussion about mental health issues yet this has become one of the board's integral threads.  In fact looking back at the opening post it's hard to believe it's only been around since early last year.  @Pinkman should be proud for having the courage to start it, I hope he's doing alright - he's not been seen around the forum for quite some time but he's certainly left a great legacy in this thread. 

[Crinklyfox]

17 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Thought I'd stick my nose in and give an update on myself. A couple of you have messaged me and asked how I'm doing...

 

It's been nearly a year since I spent a few weeks in hospital and hit rock bottom.

 

I'm still at my mates house who helped me out at the time, him and his Mrs have been amazing, their daughter has just turned one, so they take full advantage of the live in babysitter!

 

Got myself a new job, nothing special, but it's providing me with plenty of hours and the cash I need for now until I get something more permanent. 

 

Moving in the next few weeks to my own little place.

 

Off the tablets and feeling so much better, the most depressing thing at the minute is my football team, and a special mention for @Izzy Muzzett in the joke thread!

 

It's awesome that people speak so openly in here and help each other out.

 

Basically, things WILL get better, I'm living proof.

 

And I couldn't have done it without some of you.

 

Keep going, it's worth it.

This is one of the most powerful posts in this thread.  The message from someone who has suffered depression that there is a way through should give hope to everyone.  Well done Tom.

[daddylonglegs]

5 hours ago, MarkDeVirus said:

I wrote a piece for World Mental Health Day. Would love it if you all gave it a read.

 

https://dispatchesfromdante.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

"Life can be difficult at times, everyone endures low points. We need to encourage others that bottling up our feelings is the exact opposite of what we should be doing. The sooner we speak about our issues, the more promptly we can gain the help and support we need in order to recover. "

 

This was really helpful to me - thanks mate

[Benguin]

I have been depressed for years now. In a complete mess at the moment. I literally haven't told a sole and due to a rather extreme mental health problem in the family, talking about it is very taboo. I'm on the verge of talking to family as I have hit a very difficult stage. I thought I'd post in here first as I feel it'll make talking about it easier. 

 

I had a health issue with my back around a year ago and got prescribed codiene. I also am very compulsive. For the past year I have been self medicating my depression with far too much codeine and have noticed recently that I get withdrawal symptoms. Hence I realise now that I need to stop taking it before It gets serious.

 

I also have lied to myself that my problems can be fixed if I have loads of money. This has led me to developing a serious gambling addiction. I have had this problem in the past but never to this scale. Two weeks ago I gambled away all of my money and have nothing. I've been living off cheap frozen food for the last week. 

 

My main concerns is I don't know how to sort it out or talk about it. I feel vain and attention seeking writing this post, to strangers. 

[ozleicester]

6 minutes ago, Benguin said:

I have been depressed for years now. In a complete mess at the moment. I literally haven't told a sole and due to a rather extreme mental health problem in the family, talking about it is very taboo. I'm on the verge of talking to family as I have hit a very difficult stage. I thought I'd post in here first as I feel it'll make talking about it easier. 

 

I had a health issue with my back around a year ago and got prescribed codiene. I also am very compulsive. For the past year I have been self medicating my depression with far too much codeine and have noticed recently that I get withdrawal symptoms. Hence I realise now that I need to stop taking it before It gets serious.

 

I also have lied to myself that my problems can be fixed if I have loads of money. This has led me to developing a serious gambling addiction. I have had this problem in the past but never to this scale. Two weeks ago I gambled away all of my money and have nothing. I've been living off cheap frozen food for the last week. 

 

My main concerns is I don't know how to sort it out or talk about it. I feel vain and attention seeking writing this post, to strangers. 

Its a good start to talk here.

 

The only advice i can offer is try to find some one you can talk to.. help line, GP, Family...anyone.

 

It WILL help and you will feel better  as a result, as you will have seen through this topic you are not alone, these are real problems faced by many many people, talking and acknowledging is a brilliant start. Good luck you will get through it.

[Carl the Llama]

1 minute ago, Benguin said:

I have been depressed for years now. In a complete mess at the moment. I literally haven't told a sole and due to a rather extreme mental health problem in the family, talking about it is very taboo. I'm on the verge of talking to family as I have hit a very difficult stage. I thought I'd post in here first as I feel it'll make talking about it easier. 

 

I had a health issue with my back around a year ago and got prescribed codiene. I also am very compulsive. For the past year I have been self medicating my depression with far too much codeine and have noticed recently that I get withdrawal symptoms. Hence I realise now that I need to stop taking it before It gets serious.

 

I also have lied to myself that my problems can be fixed if I have loads of money. This has led me to developing a serious gambling addiction. I have had this problem in the past but never to this scale. Two weeks ago I gambled away all of my money and have nothing. I've been living off cheap frozen food for the last week. 

 

My main concerns is I don't know how to sort it out or talk about it. I feel vain and attention seeking writing this post, to strangers. 

The gambling problem sounds incredibly serious and you're right to speak out about it, if I've learned anything it's that keeping everything to yourself only reinforces the problem.  Opening up to friends and family can be incredibly daunting though, that's one of the reason why this thread's been such a revelation.  Speak to your GP about the depression, it's not easy but they'll be able to recommend you a more suitable pharmaceutical and can give you advice about local support networks.  And speak to these guys about the gambling, it's what they're there for.  I think you'll find that once you've started taking positive steps to address the problems it will be easier to open up to your close ones about them because you'll have something positive to add to the conversation and won't feel as much like you're vainly seeking attention.  I strongly empathise with that sentiment by the way, it's so easy to look at other people's problems then decide that they're more pressing than your own and feel silly about having them.  That doesn't change the fact that you're struggling and need to seek the necessary support so please don't let it hold you back.

[Izzy]

57 minutes ago, Benguin said:

I have been depressed for years now. In a complete mess at the moment. I literally haven't told a sole and due to a rather extreme mental health problem in the family, talking about it is very taboo. I'm on the verge of talking to family as I have hit a very difficult stage. I thought I'd post in here first as I feel it'll make talking about it easier. 

 

I had a health issue with my back around a year ago and got prescribed codiene. I also am very compulsive. For the past year I have been self medicating my depression with far too much codeine and have noticed recently that I get withdrawal symptoms. Hence I realise now that I need to stop taking it before It gets serious.

 

I also have lied to myself that my problems can be fixed if I have loads of money. This has led me to developing a serious gambling addiction. I have had this problem in the past but never to this scale. Two weeks ago I gambled away all of my money and have nothing. I've been living off cheap frozen food for the last week. 

 

My main concerns is I don't know how to sort it out or talk about it. I feel vain and attention seeking writing this post, to strangers. 

Not vain or attention seeking at all mate. We're all in the same boat of this thread, so you're among friends with common problems.

 

I know what you mean about the codeine. I take about 120mg a day and my GP won't prescribe me any more than that. I often find myself 'topping up' with co-codamol from chemists but it barely makes an impact. I've been on codeine for years and need to take a lot of it in order to numb the pain. I'm definitely dependent on it now.

 

I can't advise on the gambling but this has been brought up a few times on this thread if you look back a few pages. Carl's advice above is spot on and if you're on the verge of talking to your family then I'd strongly encourage you to follow your wisdom and intuition here. 

 

You've made a really brave first step coming on here and you'll be amazed at how supportive and encouraging most people are when you discuss your problems with them. People like to help other people out, so don't be too proud to ask. Just look at Tom's story on here for inspiration of how people can turn what looks like a desperate situation around.

 

Please continue posting and keeping us updated.

 

 

[tom27111]

@Benguin I always thought everyone tl would view me as an attention seeker, but you'd be surprised. 

 

Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.

 

I surpressed for so long, I had to go to hospital.

 

Talk to people, but make sure you talk to your GP.

 

It's not as taboo as you think. 

 

Good luck and hit me up with a pm if you need anyone to talk to. Been there myself x 

[ScouseFox]

seen as the streets are back it’s time to quote skinner. 

 

if you’re going through hell, keep going. 

[tom27111]

And wow. Thanks for all the likes and messages from my update post. 

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you lot are incredible.

 

Means a lot and you kept me from doing something idiotic. 

 

I'd buy you all a pint if I could.

 

Probably the last thing you expect on a football forum, good work people x

 

 

[Bob Weasel Fox]

13 hours ago, MarkDeVirus said:

I wrote a piece for World Mental Health Day. Would love it if you all gave it a read.

 

https://dispatchesfromdante.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/its-ok-not-to-be-ok/

Great stuff bud, very good

[AjcW]

This from our former goalkeeper and Leicester local is well worth a read

 

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/11/chris-kirkland-depression-interview?CMP=share_btn_tw

 

 

[The Doctor]

3 hours ago, AjcW said:

This from our former goalkeeper and Leicester local is well worth a read

 

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/11/chris-kirkland-depression-interview?CMP=share_btn_tw

 

 

Fantastic read, although:

 

He was in the stands, together with Leeona, for the penalty shootout victory over Milan in the final and, to add to the insult, the team flight headed back from Istanbul without them.

 

"They didn't wait for us," Kirkland says. "We got left and we missed the parade. Apparently my medal was given to somebody else"

 

Is possibly the shittiest thing I've ever read. Basically you're part of the team and contributed to the run here, but **** you, you're not on the official flight back, you're not in the parade and you're not getting a medal.

[ajthefox]

4 hours ago, AjcW said:

This from our former goalkeeper and Leicester local is well worth a read

 

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/11/chris-kirkland-depression-interview?CMP=share_btn_tw

 

 

Beat me to it. Good read.

[Wymsey]

Recently saw this after reading up about mental health via Wikipedia and am both quite astonished, but in some ways feel positive that even celebrities that you think are 'successful and strong' can struggle with depression and sought advice/assistance for it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_major_depressive_disorder

[Lionator]

So I'm a long way from my lowest point but anxiety and sadness still hits me from time to time. Last Friday I was out with my girlfriend and a few mates, drunk and I completely turned into an anxious, angry wreck and completely scared myself, it's at that point that I decided to start the citalopram that the doctor perscribed for me a month or so ago. My girlfriend has been wonderful throughout the whole thing, especially so given that we're so young (22&20), but we're quite a mature pair, anyway I can tell she wanted me to try Citalopram and my unwarranted outburst at her last week made me start, I'm not gonna let anxiety and it's associated problems stop me from having a relationship that I'm happy in as well as a social life. I'm on the lowest dose but I think it's already having an effect, right now I'm in tears for no reason writing this so I'm hoping it's a sign that it's in my system and the mist will soon clear. Most importantly I think I've accepted that while I have been getting better (mainly due to life circumstances such as getting a first grad job) I can't fully solve this sh!te myself and that there's no harm in trying to get a bit of pharmacological help if it's going to make my life better.

[Izzy]

49 minutes ago, Lionator said:

So I'm a long way from my lowest point but anxiety and sadness still hits me from time to time. Last Friday I was out with my girlfriend and a few mates, drunk and I completely turned into an anxious, angry wreck and completely scared myself, it's at that point that I decided to start the citalopram that the doctor perscribed for me a month or so ago. My girlfriend has been wonderful throughout the whole thing, especially so given that we're so young (22&20), but we're quite a mature pair, anyway I can tell she wanted me to try Citalopram and my unwarranted outburst at her last week made me start, I'm not gonna let anxiety and it's associated problems stop me from having a relationship that I'm happy in as well as a social life. I'm on the lowest dose but I think it's already having an effect, right now I'm in tears for no reason writing this so I'm hoping it's a sign that it's in my system and the mist will soon clear. Most importantly I think I've accepted that while I have been getting better (mainly due to life circumstances such as getting a first grad job) I can't fully solve this sh!te myself and that there's no harm in trying to get a bit of pharmacological help if it's going to make my life better.

I think anxiety and sadness probably hits most of us on this thread from time to time (and for some, even more frequently than that)

 

But you sound quite self aware to me and have got your head screwed on. Your GF sounds an absolute diamond and it's great to hear how supportive she's being. Keep hold of her mate 

 

Good on ya for trying the meds if that feels the right thing to do. You're one of millions in this country doing the same so you're definitely not on your own. 

 

Although you say the tears are for no reason right now - they are. It's probably relief that you've take the step and accepted that you need some help. Don't fight the tears but embrace them as it's your bodies natural emotional response.

 

Keep posting on here and update us on how you're getting on with the Citalopram.

 

I wish you well chap...

[Lionator]

18 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I think anxiety and sadness probably hits most of us on this thread from time to time (and for some, even more frequently than that)

 

But you sound quite self aware to me and have got your head screwed on. Your GF sounds an absolute diamond and it's great to hear how supportive she's being. Keep hold of her mate 

 

Good on ya for trying the meds if that feels the right thing to do. You're one of millions in this country doing the same so you're definitely not on your own. 

 

Although you say the tears are for no reason right now - they are. It's probably relief that you've take the step and accepted that you need some help. Don't fight the tears but embrace them as it's your bodies natural emotional response.

 

Keep posting on here and update us on how you're getting on with the Citalopram.

 

I wish you well chap...

It's definitely worth a try. I have sorted my thinking patterns out a bit however I often get worse in the winter so now is a good time to start. Third day on them and to be honest I feel terrible today, tired, anxious and sick however the doctor said it'll get worse before it gets better, must be proof that they're in my system, if they work for me how they worked for my mum a few years ago then it'll completely transform me.

[Izzy]

3 minutes ago, Lionator said:

It's definitely worth a try. I have sorted my thinking patterns out a bit however I often get worse in the winter so now is a good time to start. Third day on them and to be honest I feel terrible today, tired, anxious and sick however the doctor said it'll get worse before it gets better, must be proof that they're in my system, if they work for me how they worked for my mum a few years ago then it'll completely transform me.

Yep, the winter months are always tough for me too - and for many others.

 

Good to hear you've sorted out your thinking patterns. For me, this is the single biggest thing I need to be mindful of. Once my negative thinking starts disappearing down 'rabbit holes' that's when I start catastrophising and get into my 'What if..?' crooked thinking state...

 

I was on Fluoxitine rather than Citalopram but it took a good two weeks until I felt the benefits. It's still early days but I hope they eventually help transform you as they did for your Mum 

[urban.spaceman]

In a ruddy low slump again!

 

[Wymsey]

Trying hard not to, but the effect of unemployment feels very testing personally, to the point where I'm regularly questioning my worth to others. Not trying to attention-seek for sympathy but it really is horrible ordeal.

Literally feel there's a lot of weight on my shoulders with the situation.

Edited 20 October 2017 by Wymeswold fox