Ben Chilwell

[HighPeakFox]

3 minutes ago, foxile5 said:

Mental health isn't always having confidence, is it? Confidence is a transient virtue and linked to a tonne of variables. What he's describing is normal, everyday strife isn't it? 

Who cares? And who knows? He's gone public to encourage others to talk, men in particular I would imagine. But that's not the point of what I said to Sheppy, either - he asserted that anybody who'd had these struggles would be irritated by the post, and he's wrong about that.

[John12345]

The criticism comes with the territory of being a top level professional in my view, its unrealistic to think we can eradicate this like racist chants etc. For players that are sensitive,  say they are  young like Chilwell , there are obviously lots of resources available in terms of mental health to bolster them; counselling , hypnotherapy ,medication , charity work to gain perspective etc etc. If we can tell a player is low in confidence im sure the club can, so they should be stepping in. But I wonder how many of the players ever think to disable their social media account.

 

Note the article doesn't say why he was feeling low, it may have had nothing to do with the fact that he kept missing his passes. 

 

[Hales]

3 minutes ago, foxile5 said:

Mental health isn't always having confidence, is it? Confidence is a transient virtue and linked to a tonne of variables. What he's describing is normal, everyday strife isn't it? 

I think it probably began as a confidence issue then got worse if it affected his every day life and he had to get therapy for it? The fact he is mentioning it now maybe means it's been something that has been ongoing and he has been working through until now. I doubt he would come out and say anything if it was nothing? Brendan set up a pathway for him so the club were concerned and helping him.

[Sharpe's Fox]

I went to every home game last season from Wolves to Villa and can’t remember any booing. Guess what, when you misplace a pass or shank a cross during a passing move the crowd exhales for a second and that’s with every player. Ben always seems to be an especially weak individual who needs wrapping in cotton wool. This guys got everything in his life going for him and he’s talking rot about how he’s down in the dumps. How about living on minimum wage with kids to feed like some of the people in that stadium.

[foxile5]

7 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Who cares? And who knows? He's gone public to encourage others to talk, men in particular I would imagine. But that's not the point of what I said to Sheppy, either - he asserted that anybody who'd had these struggles would be irritated by the post, and he's wrong about that.

Right. I see. 

 

 

[Collymore]

5 minutes ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

This guys got everything in his life going for him and he’s talking rot about how he’s down in the dumps. How about living on minimum wage with kids to feed like some of the people in that stadium.

You should read Stan Collymore's autobiography "Tackling my Demons" 

 

He talks about this attitude you're portraying in detail, might help you understand. 

[Guest Fktf]

A harsh truth is that this simply isn't the mentality of a world class player, at least in the social media age we live in.

[StanSP]

12 minutes ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

This guys got everything in his life going for him and he’s talking rot about how he’s down in the dumps. How about living on minimum wage with kids to feed like some of the people in that stadium.

Again, just because the money is there doesn't equate to never suffering the effects of mental health. 

 

Must be one of the biggest global myths going that just cos you have money means you can't suffer from anything in life. 

 

It's disingenuous to compare it. Of course those living on minimum wage with kids to feed and not as well off as a footballer may suffer in any form, but that doesn't automatically mean anyone with money doesn't suffer. It's this kind of stigma that needs to be eradicated. 

 

I think the whole point of Chilwell's social media post is trying to encourage people to talk. Whether it's lack of confidence, depression anxiety, feeling low, feeling troubled inside. Talk. Talk to someone. Whether it's anonymously to all the helplines, friends, family, anyone. Get it off your chest. It worked for him at a time before it could have got worse because he spoke out and aired his troubles. Some people leave it too late and that's what needs to change. I think it's good he's come out and said what he has done. Good on him. More should do it. Break the stigma of being afraid to talk out and keeping things locked in. It's good to talk and it's okay to not feel okay. 

[Collymore]

4 minutes ago, Fktf said:

A harsh truth is that this simply isn't the mentality of a world class player, at least in the social media age we live in.

I think in hindsight people would have been much more supportive if he'd come out at the time and spoke about it. It would have wiped millions off his value over night that's why he probably didn't. 

[ALC Fox]

The guy was our starting left-back in one of the best Leicester City sides most of us have ever seen. And he played regularly for England while playing for our club.

 

He has his flaws, like all players. Even Lionel Messi gave up when his team was getting a mauling from Bayern.

 

I wouldn't say he's an elite level left-back yet, but a Champions League team with a club ethos that demands trophies has just taken a £45m+ chance on him.

 

He isn't as bad as many people make out. He's not a traditional left-back. He has defensive flaws and his crossing isn't consistently brilliant (Luke Thomas' crossing, for example, looks markedly better). But he does carry the ball well and breaks the lines, he's quick, he has a good touch, he has a decent shot on him, and he looks like a positive influence in the dressing room.

 

There's absolutely no way he deserved to be booed and jeered by his own fans.

[Guest Fktf]

2 minutes ago, Collymore said:

I think in hindsight people would have been much more supportive if he'd come out at the time and spoke about it. It would have wiped millions off his value over night that's why he probably didn't. 

I suspect it would have divided opinion on him even further.

 

My point was meant to be a bit more general, though. With support he'll undoubtedly have a career playing in Europe season after season. But the truly great players have the mentality to take abuse or failure and use it as a motivation, or at the very least ignore it (assuming they have some footballing ability too, and are not Jermaine Beckford).

[SheppyFox]

47 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I don't know who you're speaking for, but it isn't me. I have had lifelong struggles of this nature, and I'm only irritated by ignorance of the subject. 

Confidence dips are a fact of life, not a mental health condition is my main point

42 minutes ago, foxile5 said:

Mental health isn't always having confidence, is it? Confidence is a transient virtue and linked to a tonne of variables. What he's describing is normal, everyday strife isn't it? 

Exactly this.

[Collymore]

2 minutes ago, SheppyFox said:

Confidence dips are a fact of life, not a mental health condition is my main point

I don't think Ben was talking about a simple confidence problem many come across in life. 

[ScrumpyJack]

Best of luck to the lad.

 

Wealth is often misconstrued as being a magic pill for all of life's troubles, but in reality it doesn't cure ills that many of us are familiar with. Having his platform and speaking out about this is an important step in the right direction for normalising the conversation about male mental health. 

 

Hope all you FoxesTalkers are doing well in the midst of the awful scenario we currently find ourselves in.

[foxile5]

2 minutes ago, SheppyFox said:

Confidence dips are a fact of life, not a mental health condition is my main point

Exactly this.

I'm inclined to agree with your opinion. 

 

I entirely understand the battle some people face with their mental health and have sympathy. 

 

However, nobody has the divine right to feel perpetually confident with themselves over professional performance. If I have a bad day at the office I won't feel great. I'll probably not be as great performance wise. That doesn't mean I can claim I've poor mental health...I'm just under performing. 

 

If I can't handle that consistently then I'd have to consider a job change. I'm taking money to do my role and I need to be able to do that effectively.

[Mickyblueeyes]

19 minutes ago, SheppyFox said:

Confidence dips are a fact of life, not a mental health condition is my main point

Exactly this.

 

13 minutes ago, foxile5 said:

I'm inclined to agree with your opinion. 

 

I entirely understand the battle some people face with their mental health and have sympathy. 

 

However, nobody has the divine right to feel perpetually confident with themselves over professional performance. If I have a bad day at the office I won't feel great. I'll probably not be as great performance wise. That doesn't mean I can claim I've poor mental health...I'm just under performing. 

 

If I can't handle that consistently then I'd have to consider a job change. I'm taking money to do my role and I need to be able to do that effectively.

Read the post. He is not saying he has depression or poor mental health. What he is saying is that due to a dip in form his confidence took a hit. As a result, it started effecting his everyday life. That’s the key point. There will be people who have read that post who cannot at that time see the light at the end of the tunnel. The message he is trying to convey is, don’t suffer in silence. Speak to someone when you are at that stage, don’t let it effect you beyond a level where you can control it. It’s very different to depression. 
 

Chilwell knows that he has young followers and at 15 -20 it can be very easy to let bad times and the hits in life really effect you. There are tragic stories out there of people harming themselves from what was an initial dip in confidence which spiralled. The mind is a complex thing and sometimes the thoughts that occur don’t fit into a box. Someone may not have the symptoms of depression but that doesn’t mean it’s Something that cant harm them. 
 

That’s all the guy was trying to do in his post. I hope someone has read it and it’s helped them.  

[twister]

4 hours ago, Collymore said:

Very interesting. 

 

It was clear to see that there wasn't something right for a while.

 

Taking the subject matter into account, there's no way any reasonable person would have bashed him knowing the ins and outs...

 

The one thing I will say is that the people who were completely oblivious to it all are still footballing no brains when they claimed his dip in form was non existent. 

very good of him to speak so openly about it

[Dan]

Wasn't impressed by him one bit last season but did think the reaction from our fans inside the ground was pretty embarrassing.

[Guest Markyblue]

1 hour ago, Dan LCFC said:

Wasn't impressed by him one bit last season but did think the reaction from our fans inside the ground was pretty embarrassing.

Am i missing something here. I'm a season ticket holder who went to virtually every home game , when was he booed.  Not picking an argument just interested to find out when and how long.

[Babylon]

7 hours ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

I went to every home game last season from Wolves to Villa and can’t remember any booing. Guess what, when you misplace a pass or shank a cross during a passing move the crowd exhales for a second and that’s with every player. Ben always seems to be an especially weak individual who needs wrapping in cotton wool. This guys got everything in his life going for him and he’s talking rot about how he’s down in the dumps. How about living on minimum wage with kids to feed like some of the people in that stadium.

There was. 

 

How much money someone has doesn't stop them from being human FFS. 

[Babylon]

2 hours ago, Dan LCFC said:

Wasn't impressed by him one bit last season but did think the reaction from our fans inside the ground was pretty embarrassing.

First half of the season he was excellent, but as per usual with him. It was followed up by an utter rot second half of the season. 

[turkish14]

7 hours ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

I went to every home game last season from Wolves to Villa and can’t remember any booing. Guess what, when you misplace a pass or shank a cross during a passing move the crowd exhales for a second and that’s with every player. Ben always seems to be an especially weak individual who needs wrapping in cotton wool. This guys got everything in his life going for him and he’s talking rot about how he’s down in the dumps. How about living on minimum wage with kids to feed like some of the people in that stadium.

I was at every game too, and I assure as others have said there was booing then

jeers when he did make a pass. 
 

what makes an individual “weak”? 
 

also mental health and issues are relative, you can’t possibly assume because one has more money they are less vulnerable?

 

[turkish14]

7 hours ago, foxile5 said:

I'm inclined to agree with your opinion. 

 

I entirely understand the battle some people face with their mental health and have sympathy. 

 

However, nobody has the divine right to feel perpetually confident with themselves over professional performance. If I have a bad day at the office I won't feel great. I'll probably not be as great performance wise. That doesn't mean I can claim I've poor mental health...I'm just under performing. 

 

If I can't handle that consistently then I'd have to consider a job change. I'm taking money to do my role and I need to be able to do that effectively.

But loss of form or not performing within a workplace can trigger in some, anxiety and lack of self worth. Thus it then becomes a mental health issue.

[RumbleFox]

Jesus this thread.... and some people wonder why folk find it hard to talk about mental health?! You know mental health is an illness right? Like cancer doesn’t sidestep you if you have a lot of money so why should depression, etc? The more talk about this stuff, the more compassion the better surely? X 

Edited 30 October 2020 by RumbleFox

[sdb]

12 hours ago, Vacamion said:

 

Don't boo your own players.

 

It never ever helps.

 

It's that simple.

 

 

Basically what I was going to say. 

 

Quite ashamed reading that. Not that I was one of the boo boys, but that so many on here contributed to his struggles. 

 

Who boos their own players? Especially ones coming through the ranks. And are first choice for England. Perhaps, ironically, it comes back to those people suffering themselves. A pretty crap little chapter in our recent history anyway, and glad he's doing so well in a better environment for him.