Ben Chilwell

[RumbleFox]

Hate the use of the word “weak” by some people on here too. It has nothing to do with strength or weaknesses it’s an illness. Of course some people “cope with things better than others” but it doesn’t mean people who struggle are weak. In fact talking about it in public is the exact opposite of weak on my eyes. I am fortunate enough to have a reasonably steady brain, I’ve had ups and downs but in general I’m ok and have a great support network but many friends and family members have struggled with mental

health issues and it’s not pretty. Hats off to anyone who talks about their personal struggles. X 

[volpeazzurro]

9 hours ago, StanSP said:

Again, just because the money is there doesn't equate to never suffering the effects of mental health. 

 

Must be one of the biggest global myths going that just cos you have money means you can't suffer from anything in life. 

 

It's disingenuous to compare it. Of course those living on minimum wage with kids to feed and not as well off as a footballer may suffer in any form, but that doesn't automatically mean anyone with money doesn't suffer. It's this kind of stigma that needs to be eradicated. 

 

I think the whole point of Chilwell's social media post is trying to encourage people to talk. Whether it's lack of confidence, depression anxiety, feeling low, feeling troubled inside. Talk. Talk to someone. Whether it's anonymously to all the helplines, friends, family, anyone. Get it off your chest. It worked for him at a time before it could have got worse because he spoke out and aired his troubles. Some people leave it too late and that's what needs to change. I think it's good he's come out and said what he has done. Good on him. More should do it. Break the stigma of being afraid to talk out and keeping things locked in. It's good to talk and it's okay to not feel okay. 

Good post. Not exclusively, but these things are particularly difficult for blokes from a particular era. To be stoical, silent about problems and strive on was the norm as were phrases like 'get a grip' and 'man up', it doesn't really matter what job you're in. There is still a place for that attitude at certain times in my opinion but ... there's also a time for taking stock and talking to someone. I suppose the reticence to do so for some men is the risk or fear of ridicule or losing face which can be very deep rooted.

[BKLFox]

Of course losing or a lack of confidence is part of the spectrum of mental health.

The loss/lack of confidence creates anxiety, stress, loneliness, low self esteem, the lack of self worth, etc etc,  see the depression shaped hole it’s going down and potential destruction.

 

I’m shocked by some of the comments, To me those that think they own someone because they pay their 2 pieces of silver to watch them and believe that gives them the right to say what they want to them because they don’t have a great game or what ever are nothing short of a bunch of phalluses.

[Sharpe's Fox]

This is the guy who had to get off the pitch because he was upset that he was getting some stick from home fans in an FA cup tie at Millwall. I get that having money doesn’t insulate you from the human experience, we hear every day of the soap operas that go on in the lives of the well off, but i expect there to be more of a trigger than Barry from Wigston saying you’re shite when you miss a pass.

[HighPeakFox]

1 minute ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

This is the guy who had to get off the pitch because he was upset that he was getting some stick from home fans in an FA cup tie at Millwall. 

I believe this to be 'opinion' rather than actual 'fact'.

[Hales]

Confidence loss is the beginning of a potential mental health slide. Loss of form and the hassle he had most certainly won't have helped but we never know what goes on in someone's personal lives either.  The fact he said it affected his every day life shows it was more than just a loss of confidence. I suspect he had a very hard time of it actually given he has spoken out and maybe it has taken until now for him to be able to do that.  I applaude him for doing that as all he is doing is encouraging others to talk to somebody if they need help. Sadly it is still taboo for men to admit they need help and given some the responses of some on here calling him a pussy etc. shows why! Just because he earns a lot of money doesn't make him immune and actually can heighten the pressure and stress. Just because you pay to watch him also gives nobody the right to say how he should deal with things or cope.  To call someone weak for admitting this is also wrong. It's actually very brave to ask for help especially in a male work environment and it's a big thing to admit it to friends and family. Well done Ben, glad you got the help you need and I hope others are inspired by your honesty.

[Zear0]

He should be praised for being honest about his emotions as this is something that young men in particularly struggle to do.  The only counter-point to this is that being resilient to these issues is definitely an attribute that is desirable for elite athletes or public figures.  Ashley Cole was the prime example of someone who was able to disassociate the appalling abuse he got and was able to perform constantly.

 

The abuse footballers get at stadia and online is absolutely disgusting and is the root of the problem here.  Just look at any of his social media posts at the comments morons make. I've never heard him booed at games, but I've heard some things said that in any other workplace would be completely unacceptable.  Commend him for speaking about it, but let's be honest that him being affected by it is not a desirable from a purely football perspective which is what I don't think has been articulated as well it could by other posters.   Nobody, with half a brain, is belittling mental health issues, but it can't be used a shield to protect people from criticism when your job is performance related in very public forum.   The problem here is how people treat other human beings at football and online and not Ben's mental health/resilience.

[filbertway]

It was pretty obvious he was low on confidence. The amount of times he was in a good position to attack and then turned back and played a safe ball was bordering on ridiculous. All players will suffer with dips of form, if talking about it with a therapist helped him then superb.

 

I do worry a lot of younger people are being brought into the real world sheltered from what it's actually like. You need to build up a certain resilience to some things otherwise you're going to spend your whole life under a cloud thinking the world is against you.

 

If you're genuinely struggling with something then speak up - just talking has a an incredible effect of now only lessening the burden, but then thinking of ways to help improve the situation. When you have other people involved, your struggles become that bit much easier to deal with.

 

I am starting to get the impression that some people are using the mental health card to shirk some responsibilities. If you treat people like victims they will think like victims. I'd like to think we get to a place where people who are genuinely struggling feel they can talk to people and ask for help. On the other side, it'd be good for people to have a bit of backbone and not crumble at the slightest hindrance or set back.

 

As a country we were too far on the stiff upper lip side and we're heading in the right direction, I just hope we don't skip the sweet spot and go too far the other way.

 

This ended up having nothing to do with Chilwell in the end, so sorry if you made it this far  

[Hollyfox]

Although I don't much care for Chelsea (don't like anyone else tbh) I hope he has a really good career for club and Country. 

 

Leicester fans do seem to have a bit of a weird relationship with ex players unless they stay at the club. 

 

They're like a jealous ex😄

 

All of our title winners are great in my eyes and I don't get the booing when the likes of Mahrez, Kante, Harry and Drinky got iffy receptions when they returned. 

 

Ben came through the ranks, did well, made us a shit load of money and we have replaced him with a very good player. 

 

But people will boo him on his return 🙄

 

I

[Babylon]

1 hour ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

This is the guy who had to get off the pitch because he was upset that he was getting some stick from home fans in an FA cup tie at Millwall.

 

Had to get off the pitch? He played every minute of the game? He didn't take a throw in because he'd had his hand stamped on FFS. 

 

1 hour ago, Sharpe's Fox said:

I get that having money doesn’t insulate you from the human experience, we hear every day of the soap operas that go on in the lives of the well off, but i expect there to be more of a trigger than Barry from Wigston saying you’re shite when you miss a pass.

Because hundreds of people jeering and booing you, then sending messages on social media to say how shit you are, and  slagging you off on forums, or call ins. Slagging you off in front of friends and family and god knows what else wouldn't impact you. 

[Hales]

2 minutes ago, Babylon said:

Had to get off the pitch? He played every minute of the game? He didn't take a throw in because he'd had his hand stamped on FFS. 

 

Because hundreds of people jeering and booing you, then sending messages on social media to say how shit you are, and  slagging you off on forums, or call ins. Slagging you off in front of friends and family and god knows what else wouldn't impact you. 

This! 👏👏 anyone can only take so much! I've noticed now his instagram has comments locked so social media clearly got to him and he has taken steps to stop idiotic and nasty comments.

[Guest Markyblue]

4 minutes ago, Hales said:

This! 👏👏 anyone can only take so much! I've noticed now his instagram has comments locked so social media clearly got to him and he has taken steps to stop idiotic and nasty comments.

Maybe stay of social media. Its a sh.tshow at the best of times let alone when your wealth and fame leads to resentment and jealousy, if you cant take the criticism that comes alongside the adulation then keep away.  Not having a go at chilwell just if you suffer on there why go on.

[Babylon]

57 minutes ago, Markyblue said:

Maybe stay of social media. Its a sh.tshow at the best of times let alone when your wealth and fame leads to resentment and jealousy, if you cant take the criticism that comes alongside the adulation then keep away.  Not having a go at chilwell just if you suffer on there why go on.

Curiosity? The fact he's a young lad and into Social etc. Probably started off all light hearted and nice, then the trolls start appearing. 

[Vindaloo FOX]

So happy we sold him, talented player but one I feel never wanted to push on and improve.

 

He has the ability to be alot better than he is but I feel he found his comfort zone and was happy to stay there.

 

That type of attitude can rub off on others, all the best to him at Chelsea, hope they push him to step up his game.

 

 

[Guest Markyblue]

21 minutes ago, Babylon said:

Curiosity? The fact he's a young lad and into Social etc. Probably started off all light hearted and nice, then the trolls start appearing. 

Yea understand not having a go at him but make sense to leave it alone its not oxygen or food he'll survive. 

[NaijaFox]

I tend to stay off threads like these because they often CONFLATE so many issues to the point of incomprehension.

 

As many have already noted, criticism and abuse are not necessarily synonymous, and frankly it will take a veritable thesis to do justice to the subject matter, so I will stick to the term criticism (and avoid the emotional trigger of the latter when it’s appropriateness or otherwise is not self-evident).

 

1) Did Chilly get loads of DESERVED criticism while here - yes;

2) Did he get loads of UNDESERVED criticism while here - yes;

3) Are both mutually-exclusive - hell no! That’s just the reality of the larger than life hyperbole of modern football.

 

4) Does Chilly deserve kudos for publicly sharing his personal struggles - absolutely!

 

While I would almost never support fans booing their own players, I do understand the occasional collective groan at an underperformance, particularly given that fans in modern football are often far more emotionally-invested in the club (than often transient players). It is what it is!

 

Edited 30 October 2020 by NaijaFox

[NaijaFox]

As for social media, personally I do not really care that much about the personal lives of famous people to follow them online, but it will be naive to think that footballers with an active social media presence have not made a deliberate cost-benefit analysis of such presence (in fact, many are managed). An online ‘personality’ is a MANIPULATIVE tool (for social visibility, sponsorship, marketing, and such commercial and ancillary purposes), with the downside of unwanted trolling. Anyone who does not understand (or cannot handle) both sides of the reality of social media has no business being on it. It is what it is!

[Dan LCFC]

12 hours ago, Markyblue said:

Am i missing something here. I'm a season ticket holder who went to virtually every home game , when was he booed.  Not picking an argument just interested to find out when and how long.

Hard to single out any particular game (Southampton at home seems to ring a bell for some reason) but it just seemed a general battle between Chilwell and our fans, Chilwell makes error, fans get vocally frustrated, Chilwell makes another error, rinse and repeat throughout the game. This happened a couple of times as well I think.

 

This may sound really harsh but I think this is why I think in the long run he'll flop at Chelsea.

[Guest Markyblue]

6 minutes ago, Dan LCFC said:

Hard to single out any particular game (Southampton at home seems to ring a bell for some reason) but it just seemed a general battle between Chilwell and our fans, Chilwell makes error, fans get vocally frustrated, Chilwell makes another error, rinse and repeat throughout the game. This happened a couple of times as well I think.

 

This may sound really harsh but I think this is why I think in the long run he'll flop at Chelsea.

Ok fair enough, really cant remember any more than the normal murmurs when things go wrong. Never boo one of our own but people get frustrated, unfortunately i remember the days when we were proper shite so people are lucky nowadays. 

[NaijaFox]

39 minutes ago, Dan LCFC said:

Hard to single out any particular game (Southampton at home seems to ring a bell for some reason) but it just seemed a general battle between Chilwell and our fans, Chilwell makes error, fans get vocally frustrated, Chilwell makes another error, rinse and repeat throughout the game. This happened a couple of times as well I think.

 

This may sound really harsh but I think this is why I think in the long run he’ll flop at Chelsea.

Not necessarily. The spotlight will be brighter and harsher at Chelsea, but he will also be older and presumably wiser, and thus ordinarily should be better equipped to deal with it.

 

Edited 30 October 2020 by NaijaFox

[Bayfox]

57 minutes ago, Dan LCFC said:

Hard to single out any particular game (Southampton at home seems to ring a bell for some reason) but it just seemed a general battle between Chilwell and our fans, Chilwell makes error, fans get vocally frustrated, Chilwell makes another error, rinse and repeat throughout the game. This happened a couple of times as well I think.

 

This may sound really harsh but I think this is why I think in the long run he'll flop at Chelsea.

Said the same during our game last night. I think long term if he struggled with the pressure at Leicester, I can see it going badly wrong if he has a run of poor games or makes errors leading to goals at Chelsea.

[Harry96]

I can definitely remember him getting booed for the Southampton game at home 

[gw_leics772]

This to me is the single biggest reason that I now (and only just as a result of this) actually believe that he could make it right to the top and be one of the very best. 

It helps to explain the MASSIVE change in his form last year compared to earlier. 

Maybe his Southampton performance could be the real him. 

We know that confidence is a big thing in football especially (as well as all walks of life) and the Southampton game was a massive confidence game from the start and boy was he good that game. 

Depression and/or anxiety are massively linked to confidence. The safe boring option at every turn. The hit and hope crosses, when compared to that Southampton game, and from what I've read, his Chelsea performances. 

I was of the opinion that he was probably just too thick to make the right decisions. 

I am a big advocate for talking about mental health issues as an historical regular in the depression thread in general chat. 

Hypocritical I know, but fair play to the lad. I now feel able to get over it and wish him well for the future. (personally, not that knob rot team he plays for, he can score a hat trick every game for me, on condition they lose 4-3 every time) 

[gw_leics772]

22 hours ago, bmt said:

Cant wait for a load of you lot to deflect blame. 

 

Good lad who got a load of abuse for no reason.

I strongly disagree with this. It wasn't for no reason. Hew as shit for a time. Yes I feel bad now.. But, I didn't boo him or target him on twitter. 

Until they fix the mess that is twitter and anonymous cockwombles, it is part of the downsides of the fame and fortune. He should have had more help at the time and likely will in future but people with depression who don't ask for help are their own worst enemies. Not meant in a a callous way, I've been there and have been medicated for it for 20 years plus. 

He got abuse cos he did crap. You will never stop heat of the moment collective groans, and depression is all about Confidence (notwithstanding the legitimate chemical imbalance/recognised illness) but largely due to that, it affected him badly and sent him on a downward spiral. That is no more anyone's fault than picking up arthritis. It's an illness. 

He has shown how well it has worked out for him since getting help/speaking out, privately at first, but spare the sanctimonious blame game. There are enough real reasons to be angry at the moment but fact is, he played badly. Knew it himself, got down, spiralled. Fixed it, got infinitely better and that is the real message, not who is to blame. 

Harsh fact. Sometimes there is no-one or nothing to blame. 

I believe in the be kind mantra, but ultimately we sufferers have to learn to roll with the punches that will inevitably come in the real world, and look after our own mental health to ensure we don't let ourselves spiral. 

 

(apologies for the rant, but, I feel quite strongly about this) 

[gw_leics772]

22 hours ago, Mr Weller said:

He said he lost his confidence rather than suffer from serious mental health issues. Some people seem to think any loss in confidence is a medical issue; it’s not, it’s a normal reaction to a job with highs and lows.

 

Chilwell wasn’t great at times and clearly wasn’t himself but there is no suggestion it was an episode of clinical depression. People with serious issues deserve our real compassion and support but unless you know otherwise this sounds like a young player who had a wobble.

You've aired a good taboo subject and made a very good fist of it imo, but come on, read between the lines. People don't reach out in public and put themselves up there to be shot at to help other people for a simple drop in confidence!