The joke thread

[Izzy]

14 minutes ago, Bryn said:

This page is ****ing terrible.

It's not just this page, the whole thread is ****ing terrible 

[Izzy]

19 hours ago, Aus Fox said:

Two snakes sunning themselves on a log.

One turns to the other and says "hey mate, are we poisonous snakes?"

"yes, of course, why'd you ask" replied the other.

"I just bit my tongue"

Two flies on a piece of shit.

One lets off a massive fart.

The other one says "Do you mind? I'm eating!"

[Tuna]

I got done today for dog fouling.

 

The little bugger ran off with my tennis racket.

[Trav Le Bleu]

18 minutes ago, Tuna said:

I got done today for dog fouling.

 

The little bugger ran off with my tennis racket.

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Bryn said:

This page is ****ing terrible.

How does it smell?

[Beliall]

8 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

How does it smell?

dunno, it has no nose

[Tuna]

Where does Jamie Carragher stay on holiday?

 

The Carra-Van

[Izzy]

I've been thinking about selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay...

 

Imagine all the PayPal...

[Beliall]

5 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I've been thinking about selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay...

 

Imagine all the PayPal...

Imagine that's not funny...

It's easy if you try

A weak first line set up

the punchline made me cry

[Izzy]

26 minutes ago, Beliall said:

Imagine that's not funny...

It's easy if you try

A weak first line set up

the punchline made me cry

[Countryfox]

On 5/6/2017 at 23:27, Tuna said:

I got done today for dog fouling.

 

The little bugger ran off with my tennis racket.

 

On 5/7/2017 at 08:37, Tuna said:

Where does Jamie Carragher stay on holiday?

 

The Carra-Van

 

On 4/29/2017 at 12:50, Tuna said:

What do you say when you want a racing driver to speak up?

 

Oi Nikki- louder!

 

On 4/29/2017 at 16:55, Tuna said:

What's red and falls faster than a stone thrown down a well?

 

Nottingham Forest F.C.

 

 

I've come to the conclusion Skipjack that me and you have very different opinions on whats funny and whats not ...   

[Alf Bentley]

45 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I've been thinking about selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay...

 

Imagine all the PayPal...

 

I had a great idea to make money flogging ecstasy tablets. Now I'm banned from eBay.

 

Instead, I plan to get rich trading in exotic birds. I bought a lot in bulk from an Amazon trader. I'll be promoting their sale online, so you can expect a lot of tweets from my address.

[Izzy]

7 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I had a great idea to make money flogging ecstasy tablets. Now I'm banned from eBay.

 

Instead, I plan to get rich trading in exotic birds. I bought a lot in bulk from an Amazon trader. I'll be promoting their sale online, so you can expect a lot of tweets from my address.

[Izzy]

52 minutes ago, Beliall said:

Imagine that's not funny...

It's easy if you try

A weak first line set up

the punchline made me cry

You may say I'm a willy puller

But I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll fvck off

And Foxestalk will be as one...

 

[Alf Bentley]

1 hour ago, Beliall said:

Imagine that's not funny...

It's easy if you try

A weak first line set up

the punchline made me cry

 

27 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

You may say I'm a willy puller

But I'm not the only one

I hope some day you'll fvck off

And Foxestalk will be as one...

 

 

 

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Izzy]

2 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

 

 

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

 

I'm just being a bit cheesy Alf.

 

But it seems everyone around me is just laughtose intolerant 

[Alf Bentley]

4 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

I'm just being a bit cheesy Alf.

 

But it seems everyone around me is just laughtose intolerant 

 

I don't want any sourness, but that joke has curdled badly - whey out of line.

[Buce]

33 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I don't want any sourness, but that joke has curdled badly - whey out of line.

 

Yeah.

 

How dairy..

[Buce]

42 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

I'm just being a bit cheesy Alf.

 

But it seems everyone around me is just laughtose intolerant 

 

Butter just don't find them funny, Izzy.

Edited 9 May 2017 by Buce

[Izzy]

49 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

I don't want any sourness, but that joke has curdled badly - whey out of line.

 

15 minutes ago, Buce said:

Yeah.

 

How dairy..

 

13 minutes ago, Buce said:

Butter just don't find them funny, Izzy.

Damn, you guys are just too good.

 

I also used to be great at wordplay - once a pun a time...

[Jimothy]

11 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

 

Damn, you guys are just too good.

 

I also used to be great at wordplay - once a pun a time...

They just keep churning them out, don't they.

[Izzy]

5 minutes ago, Facecloth said:

They just keep churning them out, don't they.

It's relentless. I camembert it much more...

[Benguin]

A statistics expert from Edinburgh needed to attend a conference in London, his colleague asked him if it was okay to go ahead and book flights to London.

"Oh no," said the Stat man "I don't fly as there is a 1 in a million chance that someone will bring a bomb onto the plane and I'm not confident with those odds."

"Ok I'll book us tickets for the train." said his colleague.

(At the conference In London)

"Sir, why on earth didn't you meet me on the train, I was worried that you weren't going to get here." said the colleague.

"Ah sorry, I got a plane in the end."

"But I thought you weren't happy with the odds of someone bringing a bomb on the plane?"

"Yes well I did some math and it turns out that the odds of two people bringing a bomb on the plane are a million x a million and I'm comfortable with those odds, so I carry a bomb whenever I fly now!"

[Beliall]

Doctor Doctor, I think I lost my sense of humour

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, Beliall said:

Doctor Doctor, I think I lost my sense of humour

 

Im right behind you mate ...    And there's another 10 people in the queue ...