The joke thread

[UpTheLeagueFox]

If you missed the episode of Mrs Brown's Boys, which controversially replaced MOTD last weekend, it's now available on BBC iPlayer so please let people know you can miss it there too.

[Beliall]

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

 

I wake up to 3 notifications on FT this morning.

 

You two taking the piss and @stripeyfox accusing me of nicking Costocks car.

 

Fvck you all very much this festive corona season.

We love you really mate. 

[Wolfox]

told the Mrs not to panic buy but I’ve just found Andy Carroll in the kitchen

[Wolfox]

[Trav Le Bleu]

Every time I hear Covid19 I expect to hear, "Aston Villa 0".

[Bob666]

[Jimothy]

Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19.

 

Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.

[Tinman]

I was thrown out of a weight watchers meeting the other day, for making sarcastic comments at the weekly weigh in. As you can imagine I accepted the decision with huge grace, 'cause they threw her out as well.

[UpTheLeagueFox]

Our Easter holiday to Centreparcs has been cancelled so we're recreating it at home by having the kids ride their bikes in the garden while I burn £20 notes

[Vacamion]

Just been turned down from that NHS volunteer scheme.

 

They’ve got enough gynaecologists, apparently.

 

Just waiting to hear back from the breast clinic now.

[Bob666]

Just heard that things are starting to get ugly in Leicester after all the beauty / hair salons had to shut 

[LCFCtotheprem]

Just a heads up, if you get an email from the Department of Health saying not to eat tinned pork because it contains COVID-19, ignore it. It’s Spam

[Bob666]

[Webbo]

Felt really sorry for our local Chinese Takeaway,  so I made an order last night. Support local business etc.

 

Saw the Chinese delivery lad turn up in his car at the bottom of the front garden so I stepped out to collect the bag and pay.

 

Well no sooner as I left the house than he started shouting, "Isolate!, Isolate!"

 

I said, "No worries pal, you're not late I only placed the order 45 minutes ago."

[MPH]

8 hours ago, LCFCtotheprem said:

Just a heads up, if you get an email from the Department of Health saying not to eat tinned pork because it contains COVID-19, ignore it. It’s Spam

 

 

Thats Similar to an email that was going around offering two free tickets to see Nottingham Forest. DO NOT OPEN THAT EMAIL! It contains 2 free tickets to see Nottingham forest.

[Izzy]

Can always rely on Viz to raise a smile during these tough times 

 

 

[Izzy]

This 

 

[The Syrup]

We're running out of food in our house. Wife has said we're eating scraps for dinner tonight...

 

Silly name for a dog anyway.

 

 

[BKLFox]

[Tinman]

One positive out of all this hand washing is I can now use the back of my hand to grate cheese.

[Tinman]

 

 

When shopping in Waitrose ensure other shoppers stay the recommended 2 Meters away by taking a Lidl carrier bag with you.

[Wolfox]

I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they'd like to recommend other than: 

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

These have gotten boring 😔 Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.

[Tinman]

Just got this text message, not sure if it's an April fool.."Congratulations ! You have won £250 of shopping vouchers or a night at an Elvis Presley tribute act, to claim your prize , press 1 for the money, 2 for the show"...

[Aus Fox]

13 hours ago, Wolfox said:

I am on day 9 of quarantine and was wondering if anyone had any porn sites they'd like to recommend other than: 

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

Xvideos

PornHub

Xtube

Ass parade

Brazzers

xHamster

XNXX

YouPorn

YouJizz

TastyBlacks

HClips

TnaFlix

Tube8

Spankbang

DrTuber

Spankwire

KeezMovies

Nuvid

SunPorno

BravoTube

PornHD

Eporner

SexVid

XXXBunker

TheNewPorn

Mofosex...

PornDreamer

X18 Xbabe

UpdateTube

Be****

Hdmovz

PornRox

PornMaki

Pornid

Inxporn

TopFreePornVideos

Slutload

ProPorn

FakePorn

Pornhost

HandjobHub

Vpornvideos

MyXVids

Pornicom

DansMovies

Wetplace

AdultFreex

Wankflix

88****

Fapdu

Rude

FreudBox

AdultInc

PornHeed

HdPorn

Orgasm

PornRabbit

MadThumbs

Fux Eroxia

DeviantClip

Xxvids

H2porn

ApeTube

MetaPorn

YourLustMovies

ElephantTube Long

PornerBros

Tubegalore

3movs Ass-Time

HQButt

BangBus

BangBros

Ghetto tube

RedTube

BrickHouseButts

GhettoGaggers

GloryHole

These have gotten boring 😔 Any help is much appreciated. Thanks.

Forget the football coming back, you’re already doing the post porn gallop 

[Bob Weasel Fox]

I just got a job as a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock. It’s not great, but it gets me out of the house