The joke thread

[Beliall]

17 minutes ago, The Bear said:

I've got a new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs.

 

The birds love it.

straight from the blurb of izzys big book of jokes

[Buce]

3 minutes ago, Beliall said:

straight from the blurb of izzys big book of jokes

 

Even Izzy wouldn't stoop that low.

[Beliall]

2 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Even Izzy wouldn't stoop that low.

thats why its on the top shelf, next to the porn so people buy it by accident

[Strokes]

20 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Even Izzy wouldn't stoop that low.

It was a stale joke imo.

[Izzy]

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[ajthefox]

fvcking hell @Izzy Muzzett that really is bad 

[Webbo]

5 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[Carl the Llama]

3 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[Beliall]

thats it, close the thread, hes killed it

[separator]

10 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[Buce]

14 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

Edited 17 March 2018 by Buce

[StanSP]

16 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[Carl the Llama]

It's the equivalent of that guy down the pub who's had a few too many following a dodgy lunch causing him to loose the foulest, eggiest, most demonic fart, forcing everyone outside until it clears, bar staff included.  I'm absolutely sickened by what I've witnessed today.

[Strokes]

24 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[Izzy]

 

 

[ajthefox]

5 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

 

.....There's no way you legit thought that was a good joke Izzy, you're trolling us!!

[TiffToff88]

35 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

Might be the Guinness talking, but that one really tickled me!

[Carl the Llama]

7 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

 

How about you stop treating us to the psychological torture normally reserved for guantanamo bay inmates first?

[foxfanazer]

I suffer from diarrhoea,

my dad suffers from diarrhoea and so

does his dad. Runs in the family

[Strokes]

5 minutes ago, foxfanazer said:

I suffer from diarrhoea,

my dad suffers from diarrhoea and so

does his dad. Runs in the family

[Milo]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

[FoxesDeb]

12 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A weasel walks into a pub and surprises the barman. In all his years serving behind the bar, a weasel had never been in before.

 

“What can I get you? It’s on the house as you are the first weasel I have ever served” said the barman. 

“Pop” goes the weasel 

I laughed 

[FoxesDeb]

How can you tell that Google is a woman? 

 

Because it doesn't let you finish a sentence without interrupting and making a suggestion 

[Parafox]

47 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

How can you tell that Google is a woman? 

 

Because it doesn't let you finish a sentence without interrupting and making a suggestion 

[Buce]

 

Two golfers are ready to play on the 11^th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.

“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.”

“Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to her for 35 years.”