How Was Your Day?

[Facecloth]

I remember you posting about you and your missus having to move, and all the unfortunate things knocking you back, and then her ending it. Can't have been easy, the seemingly endless stream of misfortune.

 

As for the website, it's a tough one. People do weird things when they are at a low ebb (and I'm not making excuses for her), and she may well be telling the truth about when she created it, just because it says three weeks, it might be a glitch. Personally I think she's just done something stupid and never had any intention of acting on it, but I can see how from the inside it wouldn't feel like that. I think the only way forward is to make her understand how she made you feel and she has to earn a bit of trust back, or you're going to struggle to make it work. 

 

I hope you can work it out one way or the other. You'll probably get about 20 different suggestions, some telling you to end it as she's a liar, some telling you she's liar but worth fighting for, some telling you she's being honest and you need to forgive her. At the end of the day only you'll know what to do.

 

BTW what was the website?.................  Kidding  

[foxfanazer]

2 minutes ago, Facecloth said:

I remember you posting about you and your missus having to move, and all the unfortunate things knocking you back, and then her ending it. Can't have been easy, the seemingly endless stream of misfortune.

 

As for the website, it's a tough one. People do weird things when they are at a low ebb (and I'm not making excuses for her), and she may well be telling the truth about when she created it, just because it says three weeks, it might be a glitch. Personally I think she's just done something stupid and never had any intention of acting on it, but I can see how from the inside it wouldn't feel like that. I think the only way forward is to make her understand how she made you feel and she has to earn a bit of trust back, or you're going to struggle to make it work. 

 

I hope you can work it out one way or the other. You'll probably get about 20 different suggestions, some telling you to end it as she's a liar, some telling you she's liar but worth fighting for, some telling you she's being honest and you need to forgive her. At the end of the day only you'll know what to do.

 

BTW what was the website?.................  Kidding  

Thanks mate I think you're right. She seems genuinely sorry and is adamant she's going to do everything in her power to make things work

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, foxfanazer said:

Ok here goes.....

 

First of all let me say thanks for the kind messages I've received already. This forum, particularly recently has been heart warming to read. The posts in here and the depression thread shows what brilliant people we have on this forum.

 

So i'll give you a bit of a back story so things make a bit more sense. I'd been with my partner 2 years when we found out that we were having a baby. It was a good relationship and we were both really excited to be parents. I'd say she's always been a bit more into me than I was her but I did love her a lot. She is originally from Norfolk but she relocated to Leicester to be with me after a few months of us being together. Anyway, two weeks before se was due to give birth we got an eviction notice from our landlord saying he needs the house to live in himself. Mass panic as you can imagine. She'd also been made redundant whilst being pregnant which is a whole different story. This meant we were relying on my modest wage to find somewhere to live. We could no longer afford private rent and the council were so unhelpful. My mums house wasn't big enough to stay at so we moved in with her folks in Norfolk. Less than ideal as you can imagine! We eventually managed to get ourselves in with a housing association and got a flat together. Money was a constant struggle as she couldn't work without requiring child care which is too expensive. We had somany knocks that we both became depressed and basically stopped being a couple. We still loved each other but just had no energy to make it work.

 

two months ago she decided she couldn't do it anymore and broke up with me. I was devastated mainly because I knew I'd be seeing less of my daughter but also we still loved each other. I moved back to Leicester determined to sort myself out and instantly felt like I was home. I didn't enjoy living in Norfolk, I felt really lonely and isolated. Being back around my friends and family was a real boost to me and I started to get back to my old self. When I'd go back to see my daughter or she brought her to Leicester she saw the old me and the feelings came back. We decided to try and make things work but with me living here and her eventually moving back to Leicester when she can get a house swap and when both of us had our heads sorted.

 

I've been making so much effort and we got back to enjoying each others company and having lovely family days. She's been a bit more reserved but she said it was because her depression is more severe. Then today I found out that she's been going on a site that you can meet people for sex. The profile was vulgar and made her sound like a proper slut. It made me physical sick! I confronted her and she admitted it but says that she never met anyone from it and she created it when we split up and hasn't used it since we've been trying to make things work. On the profile it says it was created 3 weeks ago which was very much when we were trying to sort things out. She massively denies this and says it was like 7 weeks ago instead.

 

After going completely ballistic about it ive decided to give her one more chance as I'm desperate for us to be a family and I miss my daughter like hell. I know i'm being a complete mug and she's more than likely lying but I just don't know what to do! She seems genuinely sorry and says she's gonna do everything she can to make things work and that she'll never lie again. I want to forgive her but I fear I'm just gonna be a paranoid mess. I've never worried about where she's going or anything like that but she's completely shattered my trust.

 

 

Sorry to bore you with such a long and unstructured post but as you have all said its a great place to unload

 

Thanks for posting your story mate. I personally never get bored of reading about fellow FT'ers, as it always helps put my own problems into perspective.

@Facecloth is right when he says you'll probably get 20 odd suggestions on what you should do, but at the end of the day only YOU know what's best. We can all offer advice based on our own values and experiences, but you're the expert in your situation you only you know the right answer.

One thing I do know is that strong, lasting relationships are always built on trust. You'll know deep down if you believe and trust your parter, and your wisdom and intuition will guide you to do the right thing.

I'm a big believer in trusting our 'vibes' or sixth sense, even if it goes against our 'rational' thinking sometimes.

Keep us updated on how things work out FF and I wish you much peace and happiness in 2017.

Cheers 

[Merging Cultures]

Ok here goes.....

First of all let me say thanks for the kind messages I've received already. This forum, particularly recently has been heart warming to read. The posts in here and the depression thread shows what brilliant people we have on this forum.

So i'll give you a bit of a back story so things make a bit more sense. I'd been with my partner 2 years when we found out that we were having a baby. It was a good relationship and we were both really excited to be parents. I'd say she's always been a bit more into me than I was her but I did love her a lot. She is originally from Norfolk but she relocated to Leicester to be with me after a few months of us being together. Anyway, two weeks before se was due to give birth we got an eviction notice from our landlord saying he needs the house to live in himself. Mass panic as you can imagine. She'd also been made redundant whilst being pregnant which is a whole different story. This meant we were relying on my modest wage to find somewhere to live. We could no longer afford private rent and the council were so unhelpful. My mums house wasn't big enough to stay at so we moved in with her folks in Norfolk. Less than ideal as you can imagine! We eventually managed to get ourselves in with a housing association and got a flat together. Money was a constant struggle as she couldn't work without requiring child care which is too expensive. We had somany knocks that we both became depressed and basically stopped being a couple. We still loved each other but just had no energy to make it work.

two months ago she decided she couldn't do it anymore and broke up with me. I was devastated mainly because I knew I'd be seeing less of my daughter but also we still loved each other. I moved back to Leicester determined to sort myself out and instantly felt like I was home. I didn't enjoy living in Norfolk, I felt really lonely and isolated. Being back around my friends and family was a real boost to me and I started to get back to my old self. When I'd go back to see my daughter or she brought her to Leicester she saw the old me and the feelings came back. We decided to try and make things work but with me living here and her eventually moving back to Leicester when she can get a house swap and when both of us had our heads sorted.

I've been making so much effort and we got back to enjoying each others company and having lovely family days. She's been a bit more reserved but she said it was because her depression is more severe. Then today I found out that she's been going on a site that you can meet people for sex. The profile was vulgar and made her sound like a proper slut. It made me physical sick! I confronted her and she admitted it but says that she never met anyone from it and she created it when we split up and hasn't used it since we've been trying to make things work. On the profile it says it was created 3 weeks ago which was very much when we were trying to sort things out. She massively denies this and says it was like 7 weeks ago instead.

After going completely ballistic about it ive decided to give her one more chance as I'm desperate for us to be a family and I miss my daughter like hell. I know i'm being a complete mug and she's more than likely lying but I just don't know what to do! She seems genuinely sorry and says she's gonna do everything she can to make things work and that she'll never lie again. I want to forgive her but I fear I'm just gonna be a paranoid mess. I've never worried about where she's going or anything like that but she's completely shattered my trust.

Sorry to bore you with such a long and unstructured post but as you have all said its a great place to unload

Chin up FF the horror that is 2016 is nearly over. While there will be trouble and heartache, it's nearly a new year. A chance to wipe the slate clean, forgive any transgressions and start the new year as we all mean to go on.

[Mike Oxlong]

4 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Ok here goes.....

 

First of all let me say thanks for the kind messages I've received already. This forum, particularly recently has been heart warming to read. The posts in here and the depression thread shows what brilliant people we have on this forum.

 

So i'll give you a bit of a back story so things make a bit more sense. I'd been with my partner 2 years when we found out that we were having a baby. It was a good relationship and we were both really excited to be parents. I'd say she's always been a bit more into me than I was her but I did love her a lot. She is originally from Norfolk but she relocated to Leicester to be with me after a few months of us being together. Anyway, two weeks before se was due to give birth we got an eviction notice from our landlord saying he needs the house to live in himself. Mass panic as you can imagine. She'd also been made redundant whilst being pregnant which is a whole different story. This meant we were relying on my modest wage to find somewhere to live. We could no longer afford private rent and the council were so unhelpful. My mums house wasn't big enough to stay at so we moved in with her folks in Norfolk. Less than ideal as you can imagine! We eventually managed to get ourselves in with a housing association and got a flat together. Money was a constant struggle as she couldn't work without requiring child care which is too expensive. We had somany knocks that we both became depressed and basically stopped being a couple. We still loved each other but just had no energy to make it work.

 

two months ago she decided she couldn't do it anymore and broke up with me. I was devastated mainly because I knew I'd be seeing less of my daughter but also we still loved each other. I moved back to Leicester determined to sort myself out and instantly felt like I was home. I didn't enjoy living in Norfolk, I felt really lonely and isolated. Being back around my friends and family was a real boost to me and I started to get back to my old self. When I'd go back to see my daughter or she brought her to Leicester she saw the old me and the feelings came back. We decided to try and make things work but with me living here and her eventually moving back to Leicester when she can get a house swap and when both of us had our heads sorted.

 

I've been making so much effort and we got back to enjoying each others company and having lovely family days. She's been a bit more reserved but she said it was because her depression is more severe. Then today I found out that she's been going on a site that you can meet people for sex. The profile was vulgar and made her sound like a proper slut. It made me physical sick! I confronted her and she admitted it but says that she never met anyone from it and she created it when we split up and hasn't used it since we've been trying to make things work. On the profile it says it was created 3 weeks ago which was very much when we were trying to sort things out. She massively denies this and says it was like 7 weeks ago instead.

 

After going completely ballistic about it ive decided to give her one more chance as I'm desperate for us to be a family and I miss my daughter like hell. I know i'm being a complete mug and she's more than likely lying but I just don't know what to do! She seems genuinely sorry and says she's gonna do everything she can to make things work and that she'll never lie again. I want to forgive her but I fear I'm just gonna be a paranoid mess. I've never worried about where she's going or anything like that but she's completely shattered my trust.

 

 

Sorry to bore you with such a long and unstructured post but as you have all said its a great place to unload

 

There has obviously been an awful lot of good in the relationship for you to give her another chance and if you can get back what you had before both of you as a couple and your daughter will benefit. I hope that you are both getting the help and support that you need and that things work out well 

 

 

Edited 28 December 2016 by Mike Oxlong

[Jon the Hat]

13 hours ago, Mike Oxlong said:

There has obviously been an awful lot of good in the relationship for you to give her another chance and if you can get back what you had before both of you as a couple and your daughter will benefit. I hope that you are both getting the help and support that you need and that things work out well 

 

 

A good point here, if your instincts were to keep trying at it, there is clearly something worth battling for.  Trust your feelings, if you decide to give her another chance it has too feel right - maybe not today, but soon.

[cambridgefox]

On 25 December 2016 at 18:04, Merging Cultures said:

Not bad

Looks like Camps Bay Cape Town.

[StanSP]

Just spent last 3 days in London with the missus as part of a many surprises from her for my birthday. Stayed in The Grange hotel which is directly next to St Paul's Cathedral with views of the City skyline in the background:

Then got treated to a meal at Mint Royale restaurant; high end Indian restaurant near Piccadilly Circus. Cost a bomb but food was exquisite.

Next surprise was seeing Lion King at the Lyceum Theatre. Had been so long since seeing the film so it brought back some memories of watching that for the first time. Brilliant in the theatre as well though. Also went for a meal at a restaurant called Brown's beforehand. Very nice place and recommend it as not too expensive for a London restaurant.

Happy days

[Jattdogg]

On 28/12/2016 at 11:33, foxfanazer said:

Ok here goes.....

 

First of all let me say thanks for the kind messages I've received already. This forum, particularly recently has been heart warming to read. The posts in here and the depression thread shows what brilliant people we have on this forum.

 

So i'll give you a bit of a back story so things make a bit more sense. I'd been with my partner 2 years when we found out that we were having a baby. It was a good relationship and we were both really excited to be parents. I'd say she's always been a bit more into me than I was her but I did love her a lot. She is originally from Norfolk but she relocated to Leicester to be with me after a few months of us being together. Anyway, two weeks before se was due to give birth we got an eviction notice from our landlord saying he needs the house to live in himself. Mass panic as you can imagine. She'd also been made redundant whilst being pregnant which is a whole different story. This meant we were relying on my modest wage to find somewhere to live. We could no longer afford private rent and the council were so unhelpful. My mums house wasn't big enough to stay at so we moved in with her folks in Norfolk. Less than ideal as you can imagine! We eventually managed to get ourselves in with a housing association and got a flat together. Money was a constant struggle as she couldn't work without requiring child care which is too expensive. We had somany knocks that we both became depressed and basically stopped being a couple. We still loved each other but just had no energy to make it work.

 

two months ago she decided she couldn't do it anymore and broke up with me. I was devastated mainly because I knew I'd be seeing less of my daughter but also we still loved each other. I moved back to Leicester determined to sort myself out and instantly felt like I was home. I didn't enjoy living in Norfolk, I felt really lonely and isolated. Being back around my friends and family was a real boost to me and I started to get back to my old self. When I'd go back to see my daughter or she brought her to Leicester she saw the old me and the feelings came back. We decided to try and make things work but with me living here and her eventually moving back to Leicester when she can get a house swap and when both of us had our heads sorted.

 

I've been making so much effort and we got back to enjoying each others company and having lovely family days. She's been a bit more reserved but she said it was because her depression is more severe. Then today I found out that she's been going on a site that you can meet people for sex. The profile was vulgar and made her sound like a proper slut. It made me physical sick! I confronted her and she admitted it but says that she never met anyone from it and she created it when we split up and hasn't used it since we've been trying to make things work. On the profile it says it was created 3 weeks ago which was very much when we were trying to sort things out. She massively denies this and says it was like 7 weeks ago instead.

 

After going completely ballistic about it ive decided to give her one more chance as I'm desperate for us to be a family and I miss my daughter like hell. I know i'm being a complete mug and she's more than likely lying but I just don't know what to do! She seems genuinely sorry and says she's gonna do everything she can to make things work and that she'll never lie again. I want to forgive her but I fear I'm just gonna be a paranoid mess. I've never worried about where she's going or anything like that but she's completely shattered my trust.

 

 

Sorry to bore you with such a long and unstructured post but as you have all said its a great place to unload

 

If shes willing to try and you can trust  her then go for it mate. Trust your gut and all will work out as it should.

 

I remember after i got out of a long term relationship with my ex gf that i signed up for like 2 or 3 of these sex meetup sites (back in the early 2000s). Created profiles, paid fees contacted many ladies but never ever actually met up. I think i just enjoyed the banter of it all. Made me feel relevent even if it was sad.  I suppose im just trying to say that not everyone who signs up to these sites actually follows through with it all.

 

[Facecloth]

Just back from having a few drinks and good food with a few mates to celebrate my birthday. 34!!! Man I'm getting old!  

[Strokes]

6 hours ago, Facecloth said:

Just back from having a few drinks and good food with a few mates to celebrate my birthday. 34!!! Man I'm getting old!  

Shouldn't this go in the depression thread? 

[Xen]

Just heard I've got a new job, so my day is bloody good so far

 

Had the final interview a few weeks ago but got rejected because they gave it to an internal candidate. Then got a call saying they really liked my application and had another role they wanted to fasttrack me into, as I was 'overqualified' for the previous one, despite only being 6 months out of uni with a placement... Interviewed again yesterday, had the verbal offer this morning  

 

Much better company than where I am now, actually doing the job I was hired for, unlike here. All the standard benefits (currently zero), a pension, and a 4K salary hike to top it all off. 

 

 

Loving it.

[Strokes]

17 minutes ago, Xen said:

Just heard I've got a new job, so my day is bloody good so far

 

Had the final interview a few weeks ago but got rejected because they gave it to an internal candidate. Then got a call saying they really liked my application and had another role they wanted to fasttrack me into, as I was 'overqualified' for the previous one, despite only being 6 months out of uni with a placement... Interviewed again yesterday, had the verbal offer this morning  

 

Much better company than where I am now, actually doing the job I was hired for, unlike here. All the standard benefits (currently zero), a pension, and a 4K salary hike to top it all off. 

 

 

Loving it.

Congratulations 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Xen said:

Just heard I've got a new job, so my day is bloody good so far

 

Had the final interview a few weeks ago but got rejected because they gave it to an internal candidate. Then got a call saying they really liked my application and had another role they wanted to fasttrack me into, as I was 'overqualified' for the previous one, despite only being 6 months out of uni with a placement... Interviewed again yesterday, had the verbal offer this morning  

 

Much better company than where I am now, actually doing the job I was hired for, unlike here. All the standard benefits (currently zero), a pension, and a 4K salary hike to top it all off. 

 

 

Loving it.

That's brilliant mate, well done you. Happy days!!

[Jon the Hat]

On 12/30/2016 at 12:39, Xen said:

Just heard I've got a new job, so my day is bloody good so far

 

Had the final interview a few weeks ago but got rejected because they gave it to an internal candidate. Then got a call saying they really liked my application and had another role they wanted to fasttrack me into, as I was 'overqualified' for the previous one, despite only being 6 months out of uni with a placement... Interviewed again yesterday, had the verbal offer this morning  

 

Much better company than where I am now, actually doing the job I was hired for, unlike here. All the standard benefits (currently zero), a pension, and a 4K salary hike to top it all off. 

 

 

Loving it.

Well done.  Join the Pension immediately, and put in the most they will match.  Then forget about it.

[ajthefox]

Not done any exercise since the hockey season finished for a break a 3 weeks ago but ran just over 9 miles today at sub 8 minute mile pace. Very happy with that all things considered.

[ScouseFox]

just about recovered from new years. worked today and nearly died. probs time to start dry january. naht. 

[Mike Oxlong]

Saw a sheep doing the Mannequin Challenge this morning. Either that or it had frozen solid overnight.

[AKCJ]

First day back at work. Deleted about 800 emails, sat on FT for most of the day and ate a packet of Starburst.

 

Been alright.

[Manini]

On 30 December 2016 at 12:39, Xen said:

Just heard I've got a new job, so my day is bloody good so far

 

Had the final interview a few weeks ago but got rejected because they gave it to an internal candidate. Then got a call saying they really liked my application and had another role they wanted to fasttrack me into, as I was 'overqualified' for the previous one, despite only being 6 months out of uni with a placement... Interviewed again yesterday, had the verbal offer this morning  

 

Much better company than where I am now, actually doing the job I was hired for, unlike here. All the standard benefits (currently zero), a pension, and a 4K salary hike to top it all off. 

 

 

Loving it.

Those types are what us recruitment consultants have nightmares about..dreaded internal candidates! 

 

Congratulations mate, all the best! 

[goose2010]

Decided to work on my birthday for the first time ever, wasn't too bad although I felt a bit like yaya toure  not even a bloody card from the miserable gits! Mrs treated me well though lovely meal out at the dog and hedgehog in dadlington (near Bosworth) she got me a bottle of 'the botanist' gin, if you like gin treat yourself it's worth it! Oh a two day glamping weekend away should be a laugh! 

[Merging Cultures]

11 hours ago, goose2010 said:

Decided to work on my birthday for the first time ever, wasn't too bad although I felt a bit like yaya toure  not even a bloody card from the miserable gits! Mrs treated me well though lovely meal out at the dog and hedgehog in dadlington (near Bosworth) she got me a bottle of 'the botanist' gin, if you like gin treat yourself it's worth it! Oh a two day glamping weekend away should be a laugh! 

Happy Belated Birthday wishes!

[Carl the Llama]

The hot Eastern European girl at work has apparently developed a predeliction towards... how should I put it... 'savouring my manhood'.

 

It's been a good day

[Izzy]

31 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

The hot Eastern European girl at work has apparently developed a predeliction towards... how should I put it... 'savouring my manhood'.

 

It's been a good day

So in plain English.......she gave you a BJ in the bogs after everyone had left the office? 

[Beliall]

7 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

So in plain English.......she gave you a BJ in the bogs after everyone had left the office? 

he been sending her dick picks and she's "saving" them for HR