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Merging Cultures

What would you like to forget?

By Merging Cultures, in General Chat

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Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

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Bloody hell where did this thread come from?  I would definitely echo the suggestion to think carefully about viewing deceased loved ones, regardless of how much you feel it might give you closure or how much of your duty it is to send them off with a final viewing... for me it was my Grandfather:  It's bad enough thinking of the state he was in during his final months of life when the Alzheimer's and frailty had removed pretty much all of the man I prefer to remember, but seeing his lifeless corpse with thin, dead lips and creepy undertaker's make-up on was another level of upsetting entirely.

 

I'd imagine most will struggle to understand this next one given the other tales in this thread and even my previous paragraph, so I get it if anybody thinks my priorities are way out of whack... but the memory of my childhood cat's final day, starting with his drastic loss of limb control and culminating with sitting in my parents' kitchen next to the recently evacuated contents of his lungs, cradling his head as he rattled his way through his final breaths is still the only memory I have which is capable of bringing up tears every damn time.

 

Otherwise the usual sexual misadventures, drug and/or alcohol fuelled escapades and, now that Jatt's mentioned it, my own case of mouse murder after one of my parents' cats had got to it and left it in critical condition - so it was an act of mercy but I wish I'd been a bit more composed in the moment and chosen a better method of dispatch than taking several attempts to cave its skull in under the bench on their patio lol 

 

 

As for @Parafox, there are no words to express how much respect I have for you right now.  I'm not going to pretend I can even fathom what those experiences must have been like and I hope I don't offend when I say that I find it enormously uplifting that you've gone on to work in a role where you constantly provide aid to others instead of repeating the cycle.  Top man. :appl:

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Mike Oxlong

Mike Oxlong

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10 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I’ve done a few things in my life that I’m not proud of. Some things I would never tell my friends or family. Things I have never told anyone and never will.

 

They’ll haunt me until the day I die and are secrets I’ll take to my grave. I probably think about them most weeks and would dearly love to forget them.....but I can’t 

You left the toilet seat up didn’t you ? 

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Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

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11 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I’ve done a few things in my life that I’m not proud of. Some things I would never tell my friends or family. Things I have never told anyone and never will.

 

They’ll haunt me until the day I die and are secrets I’ll take to my grave. I probably think about them most weeks and would dearly love to forget them.....but I can’t 

Must. Resist. Poop joke.

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ozleicester

ozleicester

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9 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

 

Sorry to hear that, Buce. Could you deliberately persuade your mind to conjure up a different, more positive memory of your mother?

 

Seeing my mother after her death was therapeutic. It's one of my last words to her that I'd like to forget - the word "hopefully".

 

She'd had a stroke 8 days earlier and was fully compos mentis, but paralysed down one side. I'd been into the hospital regularly and she was showing signs of improvement.

I was handing over to my brother and returning to Leicester, due back 2 days later for a meeting with the medics to discuss where she'd go for rehab. As I was hugging her goodbye, I said "Bye, Mum. See you Tuesday hopefully".

She seemed to look at me quizzically when I said "hopefully". I didn't mean anything by it. I fully expected to see her 2 days later. It was just something I was in the habit of saying.

5-6 hours later, I got a call from my brother to say that she had had another stroke and had died. With hindsight, I think that I must have been in shock afterwards. The closest that I can get to describing the feeling is that it was as if all my veins and vital organs had been filled with liquid lead. I opted to see my Mum's body as I wanted to say a proper goodbye and couldn't imagine feeling any worse as a result. In fact, I immediately felt a lot better - deeply sad but a much healthier, more relaxed sadness. It was as if my brain hadn't been accepting the reality of her death until then, but when I saw her and touched her, it did. 

 

When I remember my use of the word "hopefully", I try to remember 20 minutes earlier instead, when my uncle left her bedside and she flamboyantly blew kisses after him with her one good arm - or some earlier good memory.

 

When my Dad died, I opted not to see his body precisely because I didn't want to spoil a great last memory of him. I was down with him 2 days before he died and he was increasingly frail. As I was leaving, for the third time in a few months I wondered whether I'd see him alive again (he'd rallied the other times). So I decided to look back through his bedroom door. He was lying there all frail but saw me and gave me a lovely warm smile as if to say that he was at peace with the world and that he had really enjoyed my visit. A fantastic memory that I cherish enormously. I do wish that I'd not said that word "hopefully" to my Mum, though. 

Just a thought and far more difficult than im suggestiing, but wouldnt it be wonderful.... if you could change the meaning of that word in your head... Hopefully = "full of hope"

 

Imagine her last wish and thought of you was .....full of hope for your life.  :)

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

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6 hours ago, ozleicester said:

Just a thought and far more difficult than im suggestiing, but wouldnt it be wonderful.... if you could change the meaning of that word in your head... Hopefully = "full of hope"

 

Imagine her last wish and thought of you was .....full of hope for your life.  :)

 

Nice thought, Oz, but that's a level of self-manipulation too far even for me! :D I can persuade myself that I might have imagined the look or it might have been meaningless. I also know that my comment was innocent in intent, just a bit unfortunate (I meant "provided nothing prevents me coming in 2 days", if anything). In reality, even if she did misinterpret the word "hopefully", she probably quickly forgot it - and seems to have died in her sleep, anyway.

 

In truth, it's not something that torments me, just makes me wince for a moment then get my brain to think of a happier memory, such as the one with my uncle - and I can pat myself on the back for that one as he'd not noticed her flamboyantly blowing kisses after him. I drew his attention to it - so gave him a good last memory. I can also remember that I got on very well with my Mum for her last 25 years (fair bit of tension between us during my first 25 years). Anyway, I'm well aware - including from other comments in this thread - that I've been pretty lucky overall.

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Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo

Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo

Posted
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22 hours ago, bovril said:

Also if I could forget a load of air crash investigation stuff I stupidly decided to watch or read on the internet, I'd be able to holiday further away than northern Italy. 

 

My mate once sent me footage of that Ukrainian air show disaster, easily the worst thing I've ever seen. Couldn't think of anything else for a week after I saw it and it's one of those horrible things that just pops into my head every now and then

 

That, and a video of someone pulling this infected debris out of someone's ear with tweezers. When I remember it, it makes my head go all hot and itchy. Fvcking horrible

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TiffToff88

TiffToff88

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The last time i ever saw my grandma.

 

She was happy and healthy when she had gone into Leicester General Hospital 5 years ago for a routine operation - Gall Stone Removal. Should have been in and out in a day. The surgeon massively cocked something up, made an incision in the wrong place, which became infected. she was in hospital for 3 weeks.

 

 I was working in construction at the time and just happened to be doing a job at the hospital, so i went to see her after work one day. She was very drugged up, don't think she even knew who i was. My last memory of her was weeing into a bag as i hugged her goodbye. No idea that would be the last time i'd see her.

 

Got a phone call the next day to say she had died. I hate that seeing her like that is my lasting memory of her.

Edited by TiffToff88
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daddylonglegs

daddylonglegs

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In terms of my adult life... 18ish onwards I'm not really ashamed of anything. It's the years before that that really cringe me out. Trying to be a big shot, not respecting people in the way I shouldve done. Luckily I learnt from mistakes at Uni but it was pretty sad to see a lot of my friends still making mistake after mistake (whether it be drugs, alcohol, girls/boys or whatever). 

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RonnieTodger

RonnieTodger

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Me and my mates saw a dog get mauled to death on the park. We were about 11 and some poor little girl was just walking her grandma's dogs and one of them switched and killed the other one. Some bloke (probably wisely) stopped us going in to try and help it in case we got attacked. In the end a policeman came and shot the aggressive dog. I love dogs and it really freaked me out for a while. 

 

Also the last series of Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother. 

 

 

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Guest MattP

Guest MattP

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Some things in here have genuinely upset me reading them.

 

Fair play to everyone for speaking about them and I hope you all find some peace as quick as you can.

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Beliall

Beliall

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14 minutes ago, MattP said:

Some things in here have genuinely upset me reading them.

 

Fair play to everyone for speaking about them and I hope you all find some peace as quick as you can.

yeah, the last series of scrubs was pretty bad

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Marmite

Marmite

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I wish I had never gone to see my nana at the chapel of rest. I was next to the bed when she took her last breath and died with her mouth wide open. The weird thing was is that the doctors tried to shut her mouth but her jaw had locked so had to break her jaw to shut it. Her face was a mess bless her and they had tried to make it look better. 

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