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Ric Flair

Who secures us Champions League qualification

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2 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

A bit of light hearted fun, who is going to be the player (ours, Utd's or even Wolves) who secures us CL qualification on Sunday. I appreciate it's a long shot that we will qualify but suspend your judgement and belief and pretend it'll happen.

 

My heart says a Vardy penalty in the dying minutes, would be beautiful given the amount of dubious ones Utd have had this season.

 

There's absolutely zero chance we get a penalty in the dying minutes if it means United or Chelsea don't get in the Champions League. 

 

De Gea would need to take off his boot and literally gouge out someone's eyes with the studs to even get a VAR check and even then it wouldn't be clear and obvious. 

 

We're going to have to beat these as convincingly as anyone's ever been beaten to get in. 

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0-0 in the 100th minute, Schmeichel takes a goal kick and manages to fizz one nice and low as he did against Bournemouth. This time, however, everyone gets out the way and it zips all the way through to De Gea, who gets a good hand to it but can only turn it into the bottom corner.

 

However, in getting out of the way of the goal kick, Ryan Bennett falls over and his shirt becomes untucked. The referee therefore has no choice but to send him off and award Man Utd a penalty. Pogba steps up to take it and unfortunately his run up takes so long that by the time he rolls it straight down the middle, Schmeichel has died of old age and his bones have turned to dust

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1 hour ago, Finnegan said:

 

There's absolutely zero chance we get a penalty in the dying minutes if it means United or Chelsea don't get in the Champions League. 

 

De Gea would need to take off his boot and literally gouge out someone's eyes with the studs to even get a VAR check and even then it wouldn't be clear and obvious. 

 

We're going to have to beat these as convincingly as anyone's ever been beaten to get in. 

VAR will win it for us, that's how ridiculous we are as a club.

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I honestly think this is so much worse for many of us because A. Its Man United and B. An ex player of ours is in the hunt.

 

Based on that I would LOVE to see him completely sat on his arse for a dodgy 1-0 in extra time.

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The gradual surrender of our Champions League slot has been a slow and painful torture, so it is written in stone that Maguire will stop a goalbound stoppage-time winner on the line with his arm and, despite United players surrounding the ref and pleading him with lots of nods and winks not to give the penalty, VAR, after spending ten minutes trying to figure out how to overrule it, has to give it. Vardy, needing to score to win the Golden Boot and put Leicester into the Champions League, smashes it past De Gea. But wait, the ref tells him to take it again as - er - the keeper wasn’t ready. His second attempt is also smashed home. But a message comes down from the Sky studio, where pundits Roy Keane, Patrice Evra, Paul Scholes, David Beckham, James Nesbit, Geoff Boycott and the singer from Simply Red say they weren’t ready. The ref tells Vardy not to be so inconsiderate, so he is forced to try again, but just as he’s about to strike and blast another past De Gea the ref blows his whistle for full time, telling him that the first two kicks and Maguire’s slow walk to the touchline after his sending off used up the added time.

 

It’s a draw. United are in the Champions League. Sky’s elated team of pundits all agree that it was the right decision by the ref. As does Solskjaer, who says with a know-it-all smirk that it was never a penalty anyway.

 

 

P.S. But hold on, that’s not the end of the story. Two days later clear evidence emerges that United have paid millions of pounds to referee chief Mike Riley during the season to ensure they get the right calls on all big VAR decisions and to Sky to never call them into question. United are suspended from Europe at once and their place given to Leicester, who go on to win the Champions League, beating Barcelona in the final, while United are found guilty of corruption and match fixing, demoted to League Two and banned from Europe for 50 years. Sky deny all knowledge but have their Premier League contract rescinded. And Solskjaer goes back to Norway with his career and reputation in tatters.
 

Well, everyone loves a happy ending, don’t they?

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5 hours ago, Stuntman_Mike said:

Big Wes hasn't just come into this side because of injury and suspensions.

 

It is destiny.

Would love this!!! He looked more likely to score than anyone else against Spurs the other day. First time we've won anything in the box this year! 

 

I had a dream............

 

Maguire scored an own goal and accidentally celebrated, we were all allowed back into the ground and we all sang Maguire is a blue, he hates United... While the United crowd went silent.  He then re signed for us in the summer, and played alongside Soyuncu and Evans in a back 3, we stormed the league!!! 

 

Shame Alexa woke me up announcing it had lost internet connection.

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3 minutes ago, Ric Flair said:

I don't actually like that dilemma though, I prefer us being down and out and simply having to win however mad that sounds.


I’ve been thinking the same. We are so tame and nice that I think we are better off when we have something to prove.

 

If we only need a draw that adds expectation and something tangible to lose. I honestly think our best/only chance is a late winner that we don’t need to hold on to for long.

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