The “ I’ve got something to say, but it doesn’t warrant its own thread “ thread.

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, NorthWalesFox said:

Was on the phone to my brother earlier and ended the conversation with “thanks fella” to which he became very offended at the term “fella”

 

can anybody enlighten me to why this would Offend someone?

 

he mumbled something about the military before hanging up

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

[Beliall]

2 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

i wouldnt worry about it. people take offence at the dumbest shit these days, and as long as you're not saying things that are outrageous you have nothing to worry about

[Duquesne Whistle]

It's Monday.

Edited 31 May 2021 by Duquesne Whistle

[Duquesne Whistle]

58 minutes ago, NorthWalesFox said:

Was on the phone to my brother earlier and ended the conversation with “thanks fella” to which he became very offended at the term “fella”

 

can anybody enlighten me to why this would Offend someone?

 

he mumbled something about the military before hanging up

I know this might be a left field suggestion, but didn't you just ask him, if it was your brother?

It's not a term I particularly use. I think I once did years ago when replying to a poster on a bbc website and he was livid about it. I was possibly being a smartarse at the same time but I can't remember. Not sure what the military link might be though. I'd be interested to know.

In the meantime, I definitely won't be calling any soldiers fella.

[String fellow]

2 hours ago, NorthWalesFox said:

Was on the phone to my brother earlier and ended the conversation with “thanks fella” to which he became very offended at the term “fella”

 

can anybody enlighten me to why this would Offend someone?

 

he mumbled something about the military before hanging up

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/why-do-sappers-object-to-being-called-fella.178608/

[Strokes]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

I’ve always attempted to offend everyone equally, it’s much easier.

[Dr The Singh]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

Doom them bastards, in the US you can't use partner, as that refers to 2 males.being partners and they took offence for the fact that I'm hetero and used that word.  I told them that I'm not in the US and do one.

[Dr The Singh]

Just now, Strokes said:

I’ve always attempted to offend everyone equally, it’s much easier.

I've always felt more offended then anyone else.  In fact I'm more offended by you then ever.

[Strokes]

1 minute ago, Dr The Singh said:

I've always felt more offended then anyone else.  In fact I'm more offended by you then ever.

Good, you’re the only cùnt I target for special treatment.

Edited 31 May 2021 by Strokes

[LiberalFox]

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

I think it might be a cultural difference. See I would have no issue with an email like that. I think the issue is that "guys" is usually used to refer to men and the tech industry is traditionally male dominant. It's about making that particular environment feel less male dominated and recognising the minority of women who have always been part of the industry. A lot of us have these habits that we aren't aware of so it's good to point them out in a friendly manner. I love it when people send me that kind of feedback provided it is constructive. 

[Izzy]

1 minute ago, LiberalFox said:

I think it might be a cultural difference. See I would have no issue with an email like that. I think the issue is that "guys" is usually used to refer to men and the tech industry is traditionally male dominant. It's about making that particular environment feel less male dominated and recognising the minority of women who have always been part of the industry. A lot of us have these habits that we aren't aware of so it's good to point them out in a friendly manner. I love it when people send me that kind of feedback provided it is constructive. 

I never said I had an issue receiving the e-mail.

 

I too received it as constructive feedback around a habit I was previously unconscious of.

 

My issue is my paranoia about other 'habits' and terminology I may use that I'm not aware of.

[LiberalFox]

23 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I never said I had an issue receiving the e-mail.

 

I too received it as constructive feedback around a habit I was previously unconscious of.

 

My issue is my paranoia about other 'habits' and terminology I may use that I'm not aware of.

Cool, glad you saw it as such. Obviously this sort of thing comes up in politics. I think you can overthink things - just being aware that we all have unconscious habits that might be a minor issue is more than enough in my opinion.   

[Vacamion]

7 hours ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

 

Just cover all bases by saying "Guys and Gals" a lot, maybe repeating it a few times, each time you say it.

 

And people feel more comfortable with a working class Northern English accent, so ask for their input/feedback by repeatedly posing the question:

 

" Now then. Now then. 'ows about that, then?".

 

If you want to reassure them, show you are a man of means, but nevertheless still a down to earth man of the people, by wearing a shell suit, but also wearing expensive gold jewellery, perhaps drawing your group's attention to this by holding up a gold bracelet and exclaiming:

 

"jingle jangle, jewellery, jewellery".

 

Your audience can't fail to be reassured of your good faith and commitment to open communication.

 

 

 

[Dr The Singh]

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

I never said I had an issue receiving the e-mail.

 

I too received it as constructive feedback around a habit I was previously unconscious of.

 

My issue is my paranoia about other 'habits' and terminology I may use that I'm not aware of.

Grow some balls kid, stop being such a snow flake FFS.

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, Dr The Singh said:

Grow some balls kid, stop being such a snow flake FFS.

Mate, this client pays my bills and represent about 40% of my income.

I can’t afford to piss them off just because I’m a dinosaur who doesn’t understand what’s PC these days. 
It only takes one arsehole to get proper offended and complain and I could lose the gig.

Thats why I’m paranoid 

[Innovindil]

Anyone else seen that advert for people to claim against manufacturers of diesel cars? Think its dieselclaim? 

 

Worth signing up for? 

 

Getting half the cash back on what I paid sounds a bit too good to be true. 

[moore_94]

23 hours ago, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

Just send him this

 

 

[Parafox]

23 hours ago, Vacamion said:

 

Just cover all bases by saying "Guys and Gals" a lot, maybe repeating it a few times, each time you say it.

 

And people feel more comfortable with a working class Northern English accent, so ask for their input/feedback by repeatedly posing the question:

 

" Now then. Now then. 'ows about that, then?".

 

If you want to reassure them, show you are a man of means, but nevertheless still a down to earth man of the people, by wearing a shell suit, but also wearing expensive gold jewellery, perhaps drawing your group's attention to this by holding up a gold bracelet and exclaiming:

 

"jingle jangle, jewellery, jewellery".

 

Your audience can't fail to be reassured of your good faith and commitment to open communication.

 

 

 

Sounds like you knew him personally 

[Stuntman_Mike]

After ticking off Truro today, I have officially visited every city and county in England!

There's nowhere better overall when the weather is on side (maybe one for unpopular opinion thread)

 

 

 

 

 

[Crinklyfox]

On 31/05/2021 at 12:16, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

I've never done virtual training, I consider that to be much more difficult than training in a location but I guess that's the way things are going now.  In my working life I've run training courses around the world, often with delegates whose first language was not English.  I learned the hard way (through feedback) that it was best to avoid any phrases that may be in common use in the UK but which may not translate literally or have the potential for different meanings in other countries.  This meant that I sometimes couldn't deliver the courses in the manner with which I felt most comfortable, but this was for my perceived benefit of the delegates.  

 

When I delivered courses I always tried to learn the names of the delegates as soon as possible then address them personally in the manner that they would expect in their country (so I would never refer to a Japanese delegate by their given name, but by their family name plus 'san'; similarly for a Korean I would use their family name or initials (e.g. Young-Soo Park would be referred to as YS)).  Up until that time I would refer to delegates as 'Ladies and gentlemen'.  This may seem excessively formal in some cultures but it is at least polite, respectful and unlikely to cause offence.

[Milo]

Is it just me that reads the 'Fishing' thread on here as the 'Fisting' thread....??

 

Every time.

[Fox92]

On 31/05/2021 at 12:16, Izzy said:

I don't know what I'm allowed to say these days.

 

Last week a ran some virtual training for 12 managers of a big US tech company and it went really well. Unbeknown to me, I referred to the group as 'guys' a few times on the call (there were 9 male/3 female in the group)

 

After the training, one of the male participants e-mailed me to thank me for the session but also to remind me that some may take offence to the term 'guys' and I should use 'folks' or 'team' on-going.

 

I'm just paranoid now about what I can/can't say without offending someone. 

I hear "guys" so often now to address a group of people, including families, including mixed sex.

[Flamey]

On 31/05/2021 at 20:13, Izzy said:

Mate, this client pays my bills and represent about 40% of my income.

I can’t afford to piss them off just because I’m a dinosaur who doesn’t understand what’s PC these days. 
It only takes one arsehole to get proper offended and complain and I could lose the gig.

Thats why I’m paranoid 

How would you cope with a 'singular' person wishing to be referred to as 'they'? It melts my brain tbh..😟

[String fellow]

50 minutes ago, Flamey said:

How would you cope with a 'singular' person wishing to be referred to as 'they'? It melts my brain tbh..😟

It's not an unreasonable way to refer to someone without specifying their gender. In Old English, the word 'them' was used both in the singular and plural dative form, and this usage is still okay today, according to the Shorter OED. This is what is says about 'them':- In relation to a singular noun or pronoun of undetermined gender: him or her. (Considered erroneous by some.)

[String fellow]

1 hour ago, Fox92 said:

I hear "guys" so often now to address a group of people, including families, including mixed sex.

The use of 'guys' is frequently heard in YouTube videos of mathematicians doing algebraic manipulations. What they should say is 'terms'. It does my head in when they say things like 'these guys cancel out'.