Depression

[Webbo]

19 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

First of all, welcome to the club mate 

 

I can relate to a lot of what you've said, as I'm sure many of us on here can. 

 

My my first thoughts when reading your post was "what a hero" surviving heart surgery at such a young age. I too have big scars from surgery and my stomach is like a patchwork quilt - but I'm proud of them and they're part of my life story now.

 

The girl who stopped talking to you? Well, maybe she couldn't handle it or didn't know what to say. It's her issue if she's uncomfortable discussing it - not yours.

 

Be proud of your scars my friend and show them off with pride. And fvck comparing yourself with others - it will drive you insane.

 

You've got to love yourself first mate and I struggle with this all the time. Luckily I get more joy and friendship from this forum than in 'real' life so spend most of my time on here. I see you reached out with creating an Irish Foxes thread - great stuff, there's a few on here.

 

You're part of the FT family now and amongst friends, so keep posting and share what the hell you want.

 

We're all here for you mate 

 

P.S Could you merge this thread with the depression thread @Webbo please?

I'm on a tablet ATM. If its not done by teatime I'll do it then.

 

[Izzy]

3 minutes ago, Webbo said:

I'm on a tablet ATM. If its not done by teatime I'll do it then.

 

Cheers boss 

[Finnegan]

Easy for me to say because at your age I was exactly the same but try not to get too hung up on relationships at this point. Your peers with kids at 17 will have more regrets in later life than you. 

 

Focus on self improvement, educate yourself, learn a language or an instrument, get in to a hobby that could really help define you as you age. Work on going to uni or learning a trade so you can generate an income and live your own life. 

 

I'm 31 and definitely a late bloomer. I wasn't much of a catch at 17 (or even 21!), I've definitely improved with age. Not many people are in relationships at my age that started when they were 17/18, you're not going to miss out on much other than teenage girls messing you around. 

 

All a load of horse shit I know, I'd have ignored this at your age too! 

 

Only thing I would say is that the earlier you get a handle on your depression the better. Talk to your GP or your parents, explain what you're going through and try and get a support network around you. That's something I never had until my mid to late twenties really and I'm suffering for it now. 

 

[joachim1965]

Hi mate, welcome to FT. A lot of good advice on here so far, but if you can go on you tube and search for a song called "My dark places" by Stiff little fingers, listen to the studio version and the live version. Jake Burns, the lead singer has suffered with depression all his life and this song may well resonate with how you are feeling and show you that there is hope and light at the end of that long dark tunnel.

 

[Guest]

Thanks guys. I don't know what to say. The support here is unbelieveable. Thank you all so much??

[Crinklyfox]

I remember being 17 with a fair degree of pain.  I was finding my way in life and everything felt intense, there was no such thing as a 'minor knock', every setback felt like it was huge.  The years following helped me put my feelings into a better perspective.  Try to be forgiving of yourself and give yourself time.  There is someone out there with a good heart who will be happy that they've found you.  A scar is nothing, don't let your medical history make you think that you are in any way diminished.  There are many ways to judge someone's worth as a person, number and type of hospital visits is not one of them.

 

We all have an 'inner voice'.  The trick is not to let it give you a warped view of the world.  If you met a friend who had experienced the same issues as yourself would you be critical of them?  I doubt it, neither should you be critical of yourself.  You have many years ahead of you to experience the many things life has to offer, don't even contemplate throwing them away for a temporary setback.

[Guest]

get a routine in your life as much as possible and get some good meditation apps for the night time

[stripeyfox]

59 minutes ago, IrishFox_ said:

Thanks guys. I don't know what to say. The support here is unbelieveable. Thank you all so much??

keep posting mate. it's good to get it out and no one here knows you and no one here will judge you.

 

[Lionator]

Has anybody ever tried Citalopram, I've been prescribed it but I've been putting off taking it for several weeks now due to the side effects?

[Finnegan]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

Has anybody ever tried Citalopram, I've been prescribed it but I've been putting off taking it for several weeks now due to the side effects?

 

You won't know what side effects you'll get until you start taking them and, worst case scenario, you can just stop and the side effects will go away. 

 

When I started on citalopram I was nauseous for the first forty eight hours (not solidly, in fits) and after that it was alright. 

 

I had a problem starting a stream when trying to piss though which is why I stopped and moved to flouxetine. 

 

These symptoms vary greatly from person to person mind and you could be fine. 

 

Try not to read the list of side effects as a bunch of stuff that will definitely happen. You're likely to just get one or two on occasion that'll be a mild irritation. 

 

[TAFKA Castroneves]

11 hours ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

A few ideas for you mate, those days you feel like doing nothing are tricky - but i personally find if i set (smaller) goals, like little things - clean my room, go to the shop to have a look at Dvds or something - then the day ends up being more positive than how i felt it at the time, feels like ive turned a normal crappy day into something better than what it had any right to be - and that then can also in turn set me off into a more positive next day. But don't overstress yourself by reaching too high, what you can do will be different to others regardless of depression or not - so try not to get locked into thinking about stuff like that. I've recently found a pretty alright spell in my life (despite it not being perfect, no job for example) after being in a pretty dark one where i wasn't looking after myself in the right way - and it's come from taking some load off myself and taking it a bit steadier, i've also been equally lucky to have a lot of strong support who could see i wasn't myself, my two best mates, my family. I was very heightened back then and constantly anxious - unable to go outdoors, lost my job as i didn't go out for 8 months (talk about a long time - felt like 1/8th of the actual time!) - just try not to get it into a bad cycle like i did man, you're not going to have perfect days all the time - but like i said the small changes ive made have made a massive difference to me, and i hope you're as lucky as i was and have a decent support network - obvious us lot are all here as well. I'm surprised most City fans aren't like this with what our footy team is like to support

 

It does sound like your heart operation knocked you and your confidence a bit, it's always tough when something health-wise (and unexpected) comes along at a young age, the youth of a life isn't fun to be spent hanging around medical establishments - it's a time of life where everyone is entitled to feel a little bit invincible - because as you get older that goes sadly, it's a shame for you that you haven't had the luxury that most kids are afforded and you have my support bro. Women are always fraught with dangers as well buddy, i've been in and out of numerous relationships - one of which definately broke down because of my depression (the last one with my Canadian ex) now i don't mean by that don't go near em what i mean is ensure your focus remains on you and making yourself feel as good as you can, without that (and not wanting to sound a doom-monger but this has happened to me) any relationship you might get involved in could be doomed to failure as if you don't love yourself - it can prove difficult to love someone else in the right way. It's funny how many times i've focused on myself for a while and not even thought about women - only for them to start magically appearing like sexy fairies - and that was because i was happier in myself and they could see that, that's what women find attractive as well (i'm hardly a looker either so it's all talk)

 

Anyways going on a bit but lots of support mate, a lot of us are in the same boat - ironically despite feeling different you've actually got more in common with people than appears on the surface. God i wish i was 17 again with the knowledge i had now, i'd have had double the amount of sexytime - and been better at pulling birds

Edited 12 September 2017 by TAFKA Castroneves

[lee7]

11 hours ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

I would advise you to try and not compare yourself to others. I think anxiety and depression will affect anyone regardless of how they look. 

 

A prime example being my girlfriend. She's extremely pretty & only 21 in fact she's a part time model now but there were days where she couldn't leave the house because she suffered from anxiety so badly. She wouldn't look anyone in the face because she always feared that they were thinking the worst of her or judging her appearance when in reality people are so self obsessed in this day and age that they couldn't care less what she looked like. 

She still has anxiety but she's learning to deal with it much better than she used too & the photographer who 'shoots' her has been amazing in how patient & reassuring he is. 

 

Her anxiety over her appearance led to her losing so much weight that she got down to a size 4.

So then she had an eating disorder mixed with anxiety and depression (caused by other situations that had happened in her younger years) all at the same time. 

I know she got really really bad at one point & suicidal thoughts were a common/daily occurrence. 

She went to the doctors & although she found it extremely difficult she started counselling and over time she started to open up to her counsellor. She says now that her counsellor is like a best friend. 

It might seem or make you feel pathetic moaning about your problems to other people but they're here to help and they're really good at what they do. 

 

So I would definitely recommend giving that a try. You've done well just to open up and be honest on a public forum like this. 

 

As for your friends who have kids at a young age I wouldn't worry too much about that! I myself had a child at a young age & although I would not change my son for the world I definitely wish I had waited to find a more suitable person to have a child with as me and his mum split up when he was 1. In hindsight it probably would've been better to wait until I was a little older too. 

 

Good luck though & definitely keep posting on here whenever you feel like your struggling 

Edited 12 September 2017 by lee7

[AKCJ]

If you feel you are depressed then the best thing you can do is admit it, you've taken a massive step just to write this thread.

 

I was depressed around the time I was at Uni. I lost a lot of friends because I couldn't be bothered to keep up with them, I gained weight, I became unhealthy, I had poor hygiene,  I was regularly ill, I had no motivation etc.

 

If you think that you've got a problem then go talk to your loved ones and professionals because they will do everything they can to get you back on track. It was definitely the best thing I've ever done.

[Redouane]

Find something you really enjoy doing to keep your mind occupied. Preferably something that requires going outside and meeting new people

[Kopfkino]

https://futurism.com/researchers-depression-may-be-a-physical-illness-linked-to-inflammation/

 

Did anyone see this? It's interesting

[Guest]

13 hours ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

As mentioned before there are several techniques people I know have used. I've listed some from mobile, but I can do into a bit more detail now i'm on PC

 

for obvious reasons I'm not going to talk about personal details, but my partner has suffered with anxiety for years. She has done the following with some success.

 

• Counselling is a good start, there us usually some underlying issues (your heart surgery) that causes some of this anxiety
• Acupuncture - weird, but can be very refreshing apparently
• anti-depressants - citalopram or Fluoxetine definitely help
• Meditation - one easy one to use at home, there are several apps for android and ios to help with relaxation
• CBT is good - it's all about writing down your thoughts and then counteracting them with positive notes CBT

there are lots of resources online, the thing is to find a method that works and stick with it

[Costock_Fox]

43 minutes ago, Redouane said:

Find something you really enjoy doing to keep your mind occupied. Preferably something that requires going outside and meeting new people

Sounds like you are describing dogging, haven't done it myself but I can see how that might make someone feel better.

[Adster]

I totally understand how you feel, however, there is nothing I was going to say that hasn't been covered by other users in this thread.

 

Depression is hard but the best thing to do is to realise it, and have enough guts to go speak to either your parents or your local GP.

 

Keep going mate, things will only get better.

[Crinklyfox]

1 hour ago, KingGTF said:

https://futurism.com/researchers-depression-may-be-a-physical-illness-linked-to-inflammation/

 

Did anyone see this? It's interesting

Thanks for posting, it is an interesting read.

 

My own take on depression is that once you have it there are physiological issues that have to be addressed, however whilst there may be a proportion of cases of depression that stem from physical issues I firmly believe that a lot of cases of depression have psychological roots, and whilst the physical issues can be treated full recovery is unlikely unless the psychological issues are addressed.  I can put my own experience with depression down to events in my life and how I reacted to them, and my recovery was greatly assisted by my viewing of events in my life in a different, and more balanced, perspective.

[Wymsey]

Doubt there's nothing else than questioning yourself more when you're unemployed. A horrible feeling.

[Jon the Hat]

5 hours ago, Lionator said:

Has anybody ever tried Citalopram, I've been prescribed it but I've been putting off taking it for several weeks now due to the side effects?

I would give it a try, I've been on it for several years with few issues.  Whether it is working is harder to assess

[AKCJ]

On ‎31‎/‎08‎/‎2017 at 17:23, Finnegan said:

I sincerely hope I'm wrong but I've got the distinct impression I might have gotten a lesson in being a bit too candid in here. It has always occurred to me that there's no doubt one or two FoxesTalkers that know who I am irl. 

 

I could be wrong but I've got a sneaky suspicion that someone who posts on here, or maybe just lurks, told my other half that I'd been suicidal. I can't work out how else she might know, only a small handful of my "real" friends were aware and I don't think they would. 

 

If I'm being paranoid, sorry all. 

 

If I'm not, I really hope that whichever shit stirring **** on here thought that was a good idea, thought it was fair on either her or me to tell her, has the bollocks to come forward and send me an IM explaining why. 

 

To everyone else: I'm doing much better at the moment. I'm safe, balanced, getting back on my feet. No worries. 

Do you know the person who did it? It's genuinely outrageous what people think is acceptable behaviour.

As far as I'm concerned, when I post on here I may give snippets of my "real life" self but I'd be pretty gutted if people started messaging my friends/family about personal things I've posted on here under a "alter ego".

 

 

 

Sorry to hear it Finners and I hope you're okay

[Finnegan]

7 minutes ago, AKCJ said:

Do you know the person who did it? It's genuinely outrageous what people think is acceptable behaviour.

As far as I'm concerned, when I post on here I may give snippets of my "real life" self but I'd be pretty gutted if people started messaging my friends/family about personal things I've posted on here under a "alter ego".

 

 

 

Sorry to hear it Finners and I hope you're okay

 

Nobody has come forward. I have a few suspicions but I'm not discussing it openly here. 

[stripeyfox]

1 hour ago, AKCJ said:

Do you know the person who did it? It's genuinely outrageous what people think is acceptable behaviour.

As far as I'm concerned, when I post on here I may give snippets of my "real life" self but I'd be pretty gutted if people started messaging my friends/family about personal things I've posted on here under a "alter ego".

 

 

 

Sorry to hear it Finners and I hope you're okay

This. One of the reasons I've not laid it all out here is because there could be people who know who I am. 

 

As you say, an alter ego is effectively anonymous in this context

 

Even if done out of concern, it's still wrong. 

 

The reason this thread works is because people who may not otherwise speak out feel safe to do so.

 

 

[Buce]

2 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

I would give it a try, I've been on it for several years with few issues.  Whether it is working is harder to assess

 

I'm genuinely surprised by that, Jon.