Depression

[Crinklyfox]

1 hour ago, Wymeswold fox said:

I've noticed I feel more down when the sun goes during the evening, in depressive thoughts occur more when it eventually goes for the day; but when it comes out, my mood becomes somewhat better.

Though, for some reason, I feel less stressed if I listen to the rain..

 

January and February are the worst, personally; as if I'm analysing/reflecting on the past few years and worry what could go wrong etc this year (especially the elder family members etc) etc.

 

Quite weird.

Rhythmic noises like rain or waves on a beach can have a soothing effect.  

 

Nighttime is the worst for me not just because of the lack of light to raise the mood but the lack of inputs to break any depressive thoughts, especially in the early hours of the morning before dawn.  

 

January and February are the pit of the year for me but by mid February the daylight is lasting notably longer and the promise of Spring is there so I can put up with them even if I don't like them.

[Jon the Hat]

21 hours ago, Finnegan said:

I sincerely hope I'm wrong but I've got the distinct impression I might have gotten a lesson in being a bit too candid in here. It has always occurred to me that there's no doubt one or two FoxesTalkers that know who I am irl. 

 

I could be wrong but I've got a sneaky suspicion that someone who posts on here, or maybe just lurks, told my other half that I'd been suicidal. I can't work out how else she might know, only a small handful of my "real" friends were aware and I don't think they would. 

 

If I'm being paranoid, sorry all. 

 

If I'm not, I really hope that whichever shit stirring **** on here thought that was a good idea, thought it was fair on either her or me to tell her, has the bollocks to come forward and send me an IM explaining why. 

 

To everyone else: I'm doing much better at the moment. I'm safe, balanced, getting back on my feet. No worries. 

Glad to hear it.  Honestly if someone on here did do that, I have no doubt it was out of concern, however annoying that may be.  

[Finnegan]

19 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Glad to hear it.  Honestly if someone on here did do that, I have no doubt it was out of concern, however annoying that may be.  

 

Was just about to post an enormous rant and then stopped. 

 

All I'll say is, as above, if the individual in question would like to step forward and IM me an explanation then I'm all ears. 

 

I'm willing to bet a substantial sum they know a hell of a lot less about my personal life than they think they do. 

[Strokes]

4 hours ago, KingGTF said:

Does anyone have any idea of ways to stop beating yourself up over mistakes and getting things wrong. It's basically self-sabotage now, making myself feel shit when I'm actually doing alright, but any little mistake or feeling of getting it wrong or letting someone down etc and my inner critic attacks me like mad. I've tried CBT before and that made **** all difference, no idea how else to tackle it.

 

Also think I'm someone that suffers from Seasonal Affected Depression, winter is always a miserable time for me and I count down to the good weather and long days returning

Perhaps you need to place less value in academic achievements, we are only on this planet for a very short time, it's a shame not to enjoy and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us.

[Buce]

4 hours ago, KingGTF said:

Does anyone have any idea of ways to stop beating yourself up over mistakes and getting things wrong. It's basically self-sabotage now, making myself feel shit when I'm actually doing alright, but any little mistake or feeling of getting it wrong or letting someone down etc and my inner critic attacks me like mad. I've tried CBT before and that made **** all difference, no idea how else to tackle it.

 

Also think I'm someone that suffers from Seasonal Affected Depression, winter is always a miserable time for me and I count down to the good weather and long days returning

 

A good start would be to stop labelling them mistakes - think of them as experiences; you are only a young man, with no idea of what the future holds. If/when you reach a point in life where you are content, all of your 'mistakes'will have been part of the unique process that lead there. 

[Guest Gist]

Not sure if this type of service has been mentioned in this chat before, but there is something called the 'Open Mind Service' people can use as a self referral if you're feeling stressed, worried, trouble sleeping etc.

 

I've not used them myself, they're just a service I'm aware of so I'm not sure how useful they might be but thought I'd put it out there for people who think it might be useful to them.

 

They're Leicester based and their number is 0116 2927010.

Edited 1 September 2017 by Gist

[Kopfkino]

On 01/09/2017 at 16:23, Strokes said:

Perhaps you need to place less value in academic achievements, we are only on this planet for a very short time, it's a shame not to enjoy and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us.

 

The thing is I do enjoy and marvel at the world we live in and certainly the last few months I can't help but smile often and genuinely enjoy my life. But there's almost an obsessive inner critic that doesn't want me to enjoy being me. I got annoyed at myself earlier when I realised I gave this elderly couple wrong directions because I mixed up Russell Street and Great Russell Street. Now I'm not going to pretend this was a major case of beating myself up but it did wind me up. 

 

On 01/09/2017 at 16:41, Buce said:

 

A good start would be to stop labelling them mistakes - think of them as experiences; you are only a young man, with no idea of what the future holds. If/when you reach a point in life where you are content, all of your 'mistakes'will have been part of the unique process that lead there. 

I take that on board actually and that's something I should actively do. Given the idea to write things down so as to make it look like an experience and maybe that can help with wiring my thoughts. But with example above; its too trivial to see as an experience and also when it affects someone else then there's an issue in my mind. Inevitably there's an inconsistency in my thinking which makes it even more bizarre. 

 

Anyhow, I have been in touch with somewhere that, after an initial, has suggested an approach that combines CBT with a bit of Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy to see if that might work for me

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

Personally I love October / November / December, always seems a bit odd when the days get a bit shorter at first, but I enjoy being able to legit have roasts every weekend, wear better clothes and look forward to Christmas which is without doubt the best bloody time of the year.

 

Granted afterwards is garbage until the spring, January and February are absolute norris months and I've struggled ike I've no doubt other people have but I find it difficult to find it tough beforehand when the prospect of Christmas is building up. I've already started filling up weekends in the crap months post NYE to at least give them something to make them worthwhile.

Edited 3 September 2017 by Miquel The Work Geordie

[Strokes]

37 minutes ago, KingGTF said:

 

The thing is I do enjoy and marvel at the world we live in and certainly the last few months I can't help but smile often and genuinely enjoy my life. But there's almost an obsessive inner critic that doesn't want me to enjoy being me. I got annoyed at myself earlier when I realised I gave this elderly couple wrong directions because I mixed up Russell Street and Great Russell Street. Now I'm not going to pretend this was a major case of beating myself up but it did wind me up. 

 

I take that on board actually and that's something I should actively do. Given the idea to write things down so as to make it look like an experience and maybe that can help with wiring my thoughts. But with example above; its too trivial to see as an experience and also when it affects someone else then there's an issue in my mind. Inevitably there's an inconsistency in my thinking which makes it even more bizarre. 

 

Anyhow, I have been in touch with somewhere that, after an initial, has suggested an approach that combines CBT with a bit of Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy to see if that might work for me

We all make mistakes mate, it's our imperfections that set us all apart and are part of who we are. You just need to take yourself a bit less serious I think and go easy on you. You can still learn plenty from errors  

[HowardsBulletHeader]

I've been a very wary of posting in here as it really isn't my place but....

 

I'd just like to say I have read this thread for the last couple of weeks and find it fascinating, perhaps as I lost my uncle to depression a few years back and it gives me an insight into what he might have gone through. I find it interesting hearing about the issues people have, how they deal with them; what they fight on a daily basis; how others come forward to help in support of each other; the various techniques people use and the open nature of it all, it really does amaze me. Especially considering that the majority (I assume) do not know each other than by screen name on FT. 

 

I would love to post here and help out but I definitely don't have enough knowledge to even attempt to, it's class that those that do have the knowledge, choose to take the time to post and help others in here. 

 

All I can say is keep up the fantastic work and the support of each other. This thread is undoubtedly the most powerful on FT and long may it continue to support the members. 

[Guest]

Found myself having a bit of dip today. But ever since I'd been to the brink and back, I've been able to talk myself out of a mood at the early stages. Simply tell myself 'nah, not today. Not going to waste my time feeling broken or whatever.' and snap right out of it for the most part.

 

Doesn't work 100% of the time, but i'm pretty happy with 80-90% of the time. And those times I can't break a bad run, I just put it to use writing music or doing some other sort of art that's well suited to depression.

[Izzy]

29 minutes ago, winchesterton said:

Found myself having a bit of dip today. But ever since I'd been to the brink and back, I've been able to talk myself out of a mood at the early stages. Simply tell myself 'nah, not today. Not going to waste my time feeling broken or whatever.' and snap right out of it for the most part.

 

Doesn't work 100% of the time, but i'm pretty happy with 80-90% of the time. And those times I can't break a bad run, I just put it to use writing music or doing some other sort of art that's well suited to depression.

It's great that you have the inner wisdom and ability to talk yourself out of a dip at the early stages mate 

 

I have to work very hard at telling myself it's a waste of time feeling down, but it's tough.

 

I love how you use writing music or art to break a bad run - that's awesome. For me, I have to force myself out of the house to socialise/play golf or anything to change my emotional state - otherwise I can just stay in bed and sleep all day.

 

But the nights are now drawing in and it's getting cold and I'm aware that my usual 'bad time of year' is just around the corner. I wish a could just press the fast forward button to next spring but just got to keep myself busy and avoid wallowing in self pity instead...

[Crinklyfox]

10 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

It's great that you have the inner wisdom and ability to talk yourself out of a dip at the early stages mate 

 

I have to work very hard at telling myself it's a waste of time feeling down, but it's tough.

 

I love how you use writing music or art to break a bad run - that's awesome. For me, I have to force myself out of the house to socialise/play golf or anything to change my emotional state - otherwise I can just stay in bed and sleep all day.

 

But the nights are now drawing in and it's getting cold and I'm aware that my usual 'bad time of year' is just around the corner. I wish a could just press the fast forward button to next spring but just got to keep myself busy and avoid wallowing in self pity instead...

Feeling down is natural when you're struggling with health, emotional or financial issues.  Nothing wrong with feeling down at those times, it's when you feel down without good reason that it's a time for concern, which many with clinical depression do.

 

It's great if you can recognise the signs and do something about it but it's also a time when you need others around you to lift your spirits.  It's commendable that you always find the time to help others on this forum.  If you feel low just consider all the good that you do for others, and it's appreciated.  If you don't have the largest rep count on this thread then I'd be staggered.

 

I don't like the time when the nights draw in either, it means that the days of summer (washout this year) have gone and it'll be a long time until they're back.  However summer gone isn't all bad, footie is back for a start and we have the pleasure of constantly agonising over City to look forward to.  You have your children at home, treasure them and the years they spend with you, I can promise that life isn't the same once they've gone.  With all the accompanying strife they are a pleasure of life that makes it worth living.

[Col city fan]

6 minutes ago, Crinklyfox said:

Feeling down is natural when you're struggling with health, emotional or financial issues.  Nothing wrong with feeling down at those times, it's when you feel down without good reason that it's a time for concern, which many with clinical depression do.

 

It's great if you can recognise the signs and do something about it but it's also a time when you need others around you to lift your spirits.  It's commendable that you always find the time to help others on this forum.  If you feel low just consider all the good that you do for others, and it's appreciated.  If you don't have the largest rep count on this thread then I'd be staggered.

 

I don't like the time when the nights draw in either, it means that the days of summer (washout this year) have gone and it'll be a long time until they're back.  However summer gone isn't all bad, footie is back for a start and we have the pleasure of constantly agonising over City to look forward to.  You have your children at home, treasure them and the years they spend with you, I can promise that life isn't the same once they've gone.  With all the accompanying strife they are a pleasure of life that makes it worth living.

PS you're right. Izzy is a top top geezer.

[Wymsey]

It's important to acknowledge that you're not the only one struggling.

It certainly can feel at times that you're alone with problems, and everyone else is more "stronger" and are "better" people.

As hard it is, even though depression makes you want to not go anywhere and do nothing - it's recommended that doing something outdoors, even if it's just a walk somewhere, is certainly necessary in order to improve the mental state.

[FoxesDeb]

Last night, well actually this morning, as always I was wide awake and browsing the forum. If it wasn't for you lot I wouldn't have found the courage I've needed for months to visit my GP, but finally I have. He told me that I am suffering with depression, which I suspected, and has increased my dosage of Ametryptaline, which I already take for migraine, but is also an anti depressant. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that it's not just the people who post that you are helping, it's long time lurkers like me, and there are probably plenty more like me that never surface. 

 

Have forced myself out to the KP to watch the U23's, the sun is out, and I'm glad I took the step I did today. Probably wouldn't have done it without you all, so thank you for making me realise I am not alone ☺️

[shen]

1 hour ago, FoxesDeb said:

Last night, well actually this morning, as always I was wide awake and browsing the forum. If it wasn't for you lot I wouldn't have found the courage I've needed for months to visit my GP, but finally I have. He told me that I am suffering with depression, which I suspected, and has increased my dosage of Ametryptaline, which I already take for migraine, but is also an anti depressant. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that it's not just the people who post that you are helping, it's long time lurkers like me, and there are probably plenty more like me that never surface. 

 

Have forced myself out to the KP to watch the U23's, the sun is out, and I'm glad I took the step I did today. Probably wouldn't have done it without you all, so thank you for making me realise I am not alone ☺️

Well done for gathering the courage to go! And good of you to post in here, it just confirms once more that depression is a very serious matter and tough to talk about/deal with. I hope the increased dosage will help. Don't shy away from posting an update once in a while

[Lionator]

2 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

Last night, well actually this morning, as always I was wide awake and browsing the forum. If it wasn't for you lot I wouldn't have found the courage I've needed for months to visit my GP, but finally I have. He told me that I am suffering with depression, which I suspected, and has increased my dosage of Ametryptaline, which I already take for migraine, but is also an anti depressant. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that it's not just the people who post that you are helping, it's long time lurkers like me, and there are probably plenty more like me that never surface. 

 

Have forced myself out to the KP to watch the U23's, the sun is out, and I'm glad I took the step I did today. Probably wouldn't have done it without you all, so thank you for making me realise I am not alone ☺️

Well done @FoxesDeb, you've 100% done the right thing and your journey to recovery has started! Also good work on going out tonight and enjoying yourself as sitting in and thinking over things makes things so much worse for many of us.

 

[Guest]

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

[Innovindil]

Don't particularly have any advice for you, lots of people in this thread have some fantastic advice though:

 

Wish you all the best dude.

[ajthefox]

@IrishFox_

 

ny tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

 

Sorry to hear you're struggling pal, but a big well done for posting. 

It can be very difficult to open up about these things so you've taken a big step, hopefully it helps.

 

This thread is a great place for this so it's good that you've posted. There's a brilliant network of people posting in the thread and although I haven't posted too much, when I have I've been greeted with wise words and lots of support. I have lurked an awful lot and have found comfort in reading about other people's experiences who are in both similar and completely unrelated situations. You are not alone and there will always be someone reading this.

 

What I would say generally (as is stock advice for anyone suffering) is that you should try and talk to your GP about it and seek professional help.

What I would say specifically though first and foremost is that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Depression is an illness and just because you might not think there is a reason for it or because someone cannot see it, that does not mean it is something to be belittled or that you should feel shame.

 

For me, running really helps keeping me sane and levelling my mood. And it obviously keeps me fit too. Sometimes leaving the flat is the hard bit, but exercise is widely regarded as a massive benefit because of the endorphins you release when you exercise.

 

Other than that, go and see your GP as I mentioned and keep posting in here. I have no doubt there will be a fair few posts in here showing support for you in the next day or so.

 

Take care mate and keep us posted.

Edited 11 September 2017 by ajthefox

[Wymsey]

34 minutes ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

As harsh as it may sound, you can do better than her - don't let one's action let you down. Though, she probably may not know what to say to you regarding your surgery so she's just stepped away for a bit?

-

You're very, very young and it's advisable to speak to your parents, if you haven't already, and discuss your feelings with them in-depth.

Anyone's parents may have/have likely to have gone through something like this themselves but found out way of dealing with it, that they could discuss with you.

If you feel you need external support, even though it can be nerve-wracking at first to explain to them, it's recommendable to book an appointment with your GP as well.

 

Mental health is a big subject today and the awareness of it is ever-increasing and there's plenty of services on offer; your potential GP/doctor would recommend certain ones - depending on which he/she feels is best considering any conversation with them on this matter.

 

The worry is that you've had thoughts of suicide - this shows that you think you're not 'good enough'; but I know from what you've put here, that you're a strong person revealing such a sensitive issue can can be initially difficult to deal with and that you want guidance from it - these are very positive steps you've taken in over the sad feelings you're currently feeling.

 

Stay strong, it may not feel like it now - but things will feel better with necessary support.

 

EDIT: Also, even though it's hard not to at present, it's not worth comparing yourself to others your age - honestly.

 

Everyone is different and people reach certain milestones in life at different stages. Life is not a competition or race, but should be one where you should appreciate what you are/what you have in life and embrace the challenges/opportunities life may bring.

 

Edited 11 September 2017 by Wymeswold fox

[ozleicester]

One little piece. Try not to measure yourself against others. As I'm sure you know, what is displayed publicly often bears no resemblance to reality.

 

Please see a gp. Get some real advice and help...it's worth it.

 

Good luck, don't give up.

[stripeyfox]

6 hours ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

As others have said, the "Depression" thread on here is brilliant. That is where the superstars of Foxes Talk lay it all out and are then treated with compassion and get really good advice and support from some of the guys on here.

 

Try not to compare yourself too much. I know it's a natural thing to do, particularly when you're young (which compared to me, you are!), but you're your own person. It took me a long time to work out that I won't like everyone and not everyone will like me.

 

You've made a good step by posting here. I hope you get some good advice. Keep posting in the Depression thread and others so we can all get to know you.

 

Good luck buddy, and welcome!
 

 

[Izzy]

8 hours ago, IrishFox_ said:

Any tips for someone struggling with depression & anxiety?

 

I'm 17 and i feel like its slowly eating away at me, i feel like doing nothing, some days i can be extremely socially awkward and i want to stay indoors and do nothing and talk to nobody, i've had suicidal thoughts but i would never do that to my familly or anything. 

 

I compare myself to others my age, i see my old close friends with mates, going out, in relationships and some actually have children at 17/18 and i struggle to talk to someome or go to college everyday..i feel ashamed 

 

I guess its something to do with my heart operation at an early age (15 two years ago) thats made it worse..

 

I do go on long walks and everything, watch football (city obviously), but nothing helps..ive been talking to a girl for a few weeks and once i opened up about my heart surgery and that i had scars she stopped talking to me? I dont know..

 

Can anyone give me some advice?

First of all, welcome to the club mate 

 

I can relate to a lot of what you've said, as I'm sure many of us on here can. 

 

My first thoughts when reading your post was "what a hero" surviving heart surgery at such a young age. I too have big scars from surgery and my stomach is like a patchwork quilt - but I'm proud of them and they're part of my life story now.

 

The girl who stopped talking to you? Well, maybe she couldn't handle it or didn't know what to say. It's her issue if she's uncomfortable discussing it - not yours.

 

Be proud of your scars my friend and show them off with pride. And fvck comparing yourself with others - it will drive you insane.

 

You've got to love yourself first mate and I struggle with this all the time. Luckily I get more joy and friendship from this forum than in 'real' life so spend most of my time on here. I see you reached out with creating an Irish Foxes thread - great stuff, there's a few on here.

 

You're part of the FT family now and amongst friends, so keep posting and share what the hell you want.

 

We're all here for you mate 

 

P.S Could you merge this thread with the depression thread @Webbo please?

Edited 12 September 2017 by Izzy Muzzett