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Daggers

What grinds my gears...

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2 hours ago, Buce said:

 

I suppose shitting outside your front door might come close, but then that would probably end up broken on your neighbour's lawn just like all the rest.

Was gonna say at least the shit would have made it to your front door, which would be very unlike hermes.

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15 hours ago, Countryfox said:

Mrs CF’s gears were well ground when she came in earlier ..  all to do with inanimate objects having a voice ..     “Hey I’m important keep me safe in case you wish to return anything” on an M&S return form ..  and ..  “Ask for help to lift me down” on top shelf items in Poundland  ..  jeez she’s still chuntering about it now ! ..    “They think we are all children !!!” ...  :D

I’m standing with Mrs. CF here, the general dumbing down of everything is really unnecessary and is creating a society incapable of any sort of complex thinning or problem solving.

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9 minutes ago, Aus Fox said:

I’m standing with Mrs. CF here, the general dumbing down of everything is really unnecessary and is creating a society incapable of any sort of complex thinning or problem solving.

 

Seriously, Aus. How complex is it to thin?

 

Just eat fewer kangaroo burgers and sink fewer tinnies, mate! :thumbup:

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23 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I think my local Hermes driver fancies me tbh. She's about 65 with long hippie like grey hair and drives a clapped out Volvo estate. Whenever she delivers me anything she's overly chatty/friendly and I swear she's giving me signals me invite her in. Gives me the willies whenever she turns up.

 

Sounds like she wants you to do that to her lol

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8 minutes ago, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

Wrapping up presents, Unless it’s square I’m completely utterly useless at it.

So unless I get everyone a square present they’ll have to accept they’ll receive a total mess.

oh and sellotape never plays ball either the bas#ard 😡

lol Sound like me. I like square/flat things the best.

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4 minutes ago, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

Wrapping up presents, Unless it’s square I’m completely utterly useless at it.

So unless I get everyone a square present they’ll have to accept they’ll receive a total mess.

oh and sellotape never plays ball either the bas#ard 😡

That's good to know and this is an opportune moment to mention the launch of my new seasonal business enterprise which is a home gift wrapping service. I will collect (£25 within the county) and then subsequently lovingly hand wrap every gift (wrapping paper, tags, ribbon and sellotape not supplied). Prices start at £5 per square item excluding VAT. I also seal cards and provide a Christmas decoration consultancy service. Looking forward to preparing your quote. PM me. 

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48 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I think my local Hermes driver fancies me tbh. She's about 65 with long hippie like grey hair and drives a clapped out Volvo estate. Whenever she delivers me anything she's overly chatty/friendly and I swear she's giving me signals to invite her in. Gives me the willies whenever she turns up.

 

Sounds like this lady boy has balls to do that at the front door.

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7 hours ago, Izzy said:

I think my local Hermes driver fancies me tbh. She's about 65 with long hippie like grey hair and drives a clapped out Volvo estate. Whenever she delivers me anything she's overly chatty/friendly and I swear she's giving me signals to invite her in. Gives me the willies whenever she turns up.

That'll be that new dildo set you ordered. 

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21 hours ago, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

Wrapping up presents, Unless it’s square I’m completely utterly useless at it.

So unless I get everyone a square present they’ll have to accept they’ll receive a total mess.

oh and sellotape never plays ball either the bas#ard 😡

Get some magic tape on a dispenser, much easier to deal with.

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23 hours ago, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

Wrapping up presents, Unless it’s square I’m completely utterly useless at it.

So unless I get everyone a square present they’ll have to accept they’ll receive a total mess.

oh and sellotape never plays ball either the bas#ard 😡

Gift bags are your friend

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On 02/12/2020 at 14:57, Carl the Llama said:

Any retailer who sends their products via hermes.  Can't think of a more obvious demonstration of contempt for your customers without breaking the law.

 

 

As I write this I'm currently waiting for a hermes man to drive up to my block of flats, wind down his van window and fling a parcel at my first floor flat without stopping. 

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I live in a building with 3 flats - delivery drivers always ring the other 2 buzzers if the flat they want doesn't answer, if they don't just ring all 3 automatically lol Working from home means muggins here usually falls for it.

 

Can't blame them tbf, I'd do the same in their position. We're the top floor though so too many stairs are involved.

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23 minutes ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

People who put glitter and what not in your Christmas card.

You open the envelope, then the card and then spend 20 minutes clearing up the mess.

HUMBUG!

I'm not sending any cards this year. I'm not sure sending each other envelopes stuck down with our saliva is a good idea in the current circumstances. It's a rubbish tradition that's become a chore anyway.

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7 minutes ago, SouthStandUpperTier said:

I'm not sending any cards this year. I'm not sure sending each other envelopes stuck down with our saliva is a good idea in the current circumstances. It's a rubbish tradition that's become a chore anyway.

good idea! ban on Christmas cards!! saves everyone catching covid and saves the planet (and saves me writing them)

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1 hour ago, SouthStandUpperTier said:

I'm not sending any cards this year. I'm not sure sending each other envelopes stuck down with our saliva is a good idea in the current circumstances. It's a rubbish tradition that's become a chore anyway.

Last year was the first year I purposely didn't send any cards. Partly cos I ran out of time and left it too late, but partly to see if anyone noticed.

 

My Mum noticed I didn't send her one but apart from that, I don't think anyone else gave a shit.

 

I think it's a tradition that's dying a slow death as we move more and more to an electronic and paperless society.

 

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18 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Last year was the first year I purposely didn't send any cards. Partly cos I ran out of time and left it too late, but partly to see if anyone noticed.

 

My Mum noticed I didn't send her one but apart from that, I don't think anyone else gave a shit.

 

I think it's a tradition that's dying a slow death as we move more and more to an electronic and paperless society.

 

I noticed, pr1ck

Edited by Beliall
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