The “ I’ve got something to say, but it doesn’t warrant its own thread “ thread.

[Manini]

Went for an ultrasound on my bollock this morning. The wider message probably does warrant its own thread but if you read this and do anything today, check your nuts lads! 
 

Nothing will ever prepare you for getting your tackle out in a room with two strangers though. At least the jelly they used was warm instead of ice cold, I need all the help I can get at the best of times! 

Edited 18 November 2020 by Manini

[Free Falling Foxes]

4 minutes ago, Manini said:

Went for an ultrasound on my bollock this morning. Probably does warrant its own thread but if you read this and do anything today, check your nuts lads! 
 

Nothing will ever prepare you for getting your tackle out in a room with two strangers though. At least the jelly they used was warm instead of ice cold, I need all the help I can get at the best of times! 

Hope everything is ok for you mate.

[BeardyFox]

33 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

The bloke from the asda adverts is incredibly unsettling. Just wanted to get that off my chest. 

Glad it's not just me that thinks this.

[Manini]

1 hour ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Hope everything is ok for you mate.

Thanks mate. I’m well. Just being ultra-safe after a period of nagging discomfort. 

[Innovindil]

The hell is with the growing amount of people with lights on the front of their houses? I've got a solar powered one that activates when you get close to the steps and that does the job, why the need for hard-wired constantly on lights? Weird. 

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, Innovindil said:

The hell is with the growing amount of people with lights on the front of their houses? I've got a solar powered one that activates when you get close to the steps and that does the job, why the need for hard-wired constantly on lights? Weird. 

It's that bloody @Strokesgoing around installing them.

 

I blame him.

[Free Falling Foxes]

5 minutes ago, Innovindil said:

The hell is with the growing amount of people with lights on the front of their houses? I've got a solar powered one that activates when you get close to the steps and that does the job, why the need for hard-wired constantly on lights? Weird. 

Ooooo,  don't get me started.

House at the side of us has a powerful light illuminating their back garden. When you step outside it's like being caught in the beam of a aircraft search light

Mind you, they're anti social in other irratates ways to.

 

[Countryfox]

7 minutes ago, Innovindil said:

The hell is with the growing amount of people with lights on the front of their houses? I've got a solar powered one that activates when you get close to the steps and that does the job, why the need for hard-wired constantly on lights? Weird. 

 

When i was younger I had a flat in town ...  outside the window was a street light ....    not only was it very bright but it seemed to attract drunks like moths to a flame ...   and they wanted to sing and shout at each other all night.   I hated it.  When I moved into the burbs it was a very nice house but had a street light outside ...   too far for the town drunks to travel but still very bright.   Eventually I ended up in the sticks on the edge of a small village .....   no street lights ...   fvckin great !!  ....   but then a woman not that far away started putting outside lights on all night ...   the total darkness that I had before was gone ...  it really does my fookin head in !!!!     Aghhhhhhhh !!!!!

[Free Falling Foxes]

Embarrassing and regretful things I have said about LCFC in the past.

Two memorable ones were:

 

'Million pounds for a non league player?! We've lost the plot'

 

'Sold to a couple Thai businessmen!? This'll end well'

 

Prat.

[Strokes]

34 minutes ago, Izzy said:

It's that bloody @Strokesgoing around installing them.

 

I blame him.

It’s keeping the economy going, I advise all my customers to keep lights on all day and all night. We can’t have the shareholders at E-on having a lean Christmas can we?

[Nalis]

3 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Embarrassing and regretful things I have said about LCFC in the past.

Two memorable ones were:

 

'Million pounds for a non league player?! We've lost the plot'

 

'Sold to a couple Thai businessmen!? This'll end well'

 

Prat.

Yeah I thought Wes was shite and out of his depth after the Aston Villa FA Cup defeat in 2015.

[Webbo]

Have you ever microwaved some cheese on a cream cracker? Sprinkle of salt, absolutely delightful. 

[jonthefox]

Why is it that when you’re furloughed and Christmas round the corner, your house starts falling to pieces. 

[Benguin]

6 minutes ago, Webbo said:

Have you ever microwaved some cheese on a cream cracker? Sprinkle of salt, absolutely delightful. 

I’ve done the sprinkle of salt before. Never thought to microwave. Might give that a go.

[Pliskin]

I washed my face covering with Christmas Zoflora, bloody delightful. 

 

[foxile5]

I'm so tired it's unreal. I can't decide if I wouldn't rather pack in work and just live in a ****ing tent. The harder you work the more difficult things become. 

[Jattdogg]

11 hours ago, Manini said:

Went for an ultrasound on my bollock this morning. The wider message probably does warrant its own thread but if you read this and do anything today, check your nuts lads! 
 

Nothing will ever prepare you for getting your tackle out in a room with two strangers though. At least the jelly they used was warm instead of ice cold, I need all the help I can get at the best of times! 

If it's two decent looking women wanting to shag i suffer 0 stage fright lol. Bet the whole time you were thinking "dont get a hard on, think of something non sexual...boris, boris ,boris, wait thats a man no think of something else,  foxestalk religion thread, foxestalk religion thread"

 

Having saod all that, I'd rather pull my sack out then have to have a fit female nurse and a doctor shove a camera up me arse to  check for cancer. Wasnt fun, and ive had it done twice because of my mums colon cancer battle. Thankfully no issues, knocking on wood.

[Nod.E]

14 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

If it's two decent looking women wanting to shag i suffer 0 stage fright lol. Bet the whole time you were thinking "dont get a hard on, think of something non sexual...boris, boris ,boris, wait thats a man no think of something else,  foxestalk religion thread, foxestalk religion thread"

 

Having saod all that, I'd rather pull my sack out then have to have a fit female nurse and a doctor shove a camera up me arse to  check for cancer. Wasnt fun, and ive had it done twice because of my mums colon cancer battle. Thankfully no issues, knocking on wood.

Wasn't aware that was part of the procedure 

[ALC Fox]

3 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

If it's two decent looking women wanting to shag i suffer 0 stage fright lol. Bet the whole time you were thinking "dont get a hard on, think of something non sexual...boris, boris ,boris, wait thats a man no think of something else,  foxestalk religion thread, foxestalk religion thread"

 

Having saod all that, I'd rather pull my sack out then have to have a fit female nurse and a doctor shove a camera up me arse to  check for cancer. Wasnt fun, and ive had it done twice because of my mums colon cancer battle. Thankfully no issues, knocking on wood.

I had a lump on the shaft of the old chap a couple of years ago. It started off as barely perceptible but in a few weeks it had become the size, shape, and as hard as an uncooked grain of rice (the lump, not the whole thing!). After some reading online, I found that's how testicular cancer sometimes presents itself but found nothing about lumps on the penis.

 

So I got it checked out at my GP who referred me to a specialist. The specialist had a good look and feel and told me it was unlikely to be cancer but referred me an ultrasound just to be sure. By the time I had the ultrasound the lump was already disappearing and they found nothing to be worried about. It wasn't long before the lump had gone entirely.

 

I had the same thoughts about 'please don't get hard, please don't get hard' but you'd be surprised at how easy it is to get everything out and not get excited when it's a matter of health. And it wasn't in the least bit embarrassing either - all three doctors who'd had a look or rummage were brilliant tbh.

 

The worst bit was the clean-up after the ultrasound. Felt like I'd used up the hospital's supply of paper towels to get all that jelly off!

 

@Manini - fingers crossed everything is as innocuous as it was for me. I absolutely agree, all blokes check your nuts regularly and get checked out if something isn't normal. I think that goes with everything across the board from a prolonged new cough to a change in bowel movement habits. You can't be too careful.

[Jon the Hat]

14 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Embarrassing and regretful things I have said about LCFC in the past.

Two memorable ones were:

 

'Million pounds for a non league player?! We've lost the plot'

 

'Sold to a couple Thai businessmen!? This'll end well'

 

Prat.

Sometimes it is great to be completely and utterly wrong.  Celebrate it.

[Benguin]

6 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

If it's two decent looking women wanting to shag i suffer 0 stage fright lol. Bet the whole time you were thinking "dont get a hard on, think of something non sexual...boris, boris ,boris, wait thats a man no think of something else,  foxestalk religion thread, foxestalk religion thread"

 

Having saod all that, I'd rather pull my sack out then have to have a fit female nurse and a doctor shove a camera up me arse to  check for cancer. Wasnt fun, and ive had it done twice because of my mums colon cancer battle. Thankfully no issues, knocking on wood.

I had a colonoscopy and there were 4 people in the room, 2 male, 2 female. Most traumatising experience of my life. 

[TiffToff88]

Do people really still call directory enquires? I keep hearing radio adverts for 118 directory enquires. It costs £2.50 per call, PLUS 75p per minute!

 

Google is free...

[Free Falling Foxes]

7 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

If it's two decent looking women wanting to shag i suffer 0 stage fright lol. Bet the whole time you were thinking "dont get a hard on, think of something non sexual...boris, boris ,boris, wait thats a man no think of something else,  foxestalk religion thread, foxestalk religion thread"

 

Having saod all that, I'd rather pull my sack out then have to have a fit female nurse and a doctor shove a camera up me arse to  check for cancer. Wasnt fun, and ive had it done twice because of my mums colon cancer battle. Thankfully no issues, knocking on wood.

During the 12 month wait for my hernia op, I was asked if I would be happy to be a patient for medical students taking the practical part of their exams. My hernia was just above and to the side of my meat and two veg so I said yes but female students only.

 

I had joked about the last bit but when I arrived on the day I was informed female students as requested, 5 in total.

 

As well as the student and myself there were 3 others in the room who were assessing the student. After asking me questions the student began the examination. Non of them ask me to lie down so I was on my feet for each one meaning they were crouching down in front of me

 

Well, they were that close to me I could feel their breath on my parts as well as there gentle prodding.

 

I held it together until the last student. She was the least attractive but as she examined me a couple of her fingers kept brushing my balls.

 

I then detected some 'movement' and though shit, please no.

 

To take my mind of it I read and re read the instructions on various despensers on the wall opposite. It worked thank goodness.

 

[Carl the Llama]

50 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

Do people really still call directory enquires? I keep hearing radio adverts for 118 directory enquires. It costs £2.50 per call, PLUS 75p per minute!

 

Google is free...

Old folk with no computer/no computer skills or indeed no smartphone, but plenty of lovely pension money to scalp.

Edited 19 November 2020 by Carl the Llama

[Buce]

 

The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat.